Jurassic Park Trilogy Blu-Ray
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    #14
    Arnold Schawrzanegger's 'Last Action Hero' opened the same weekend as JP, proving to be no match for JP's dinos.
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    Dinosaur Movie
    By Seth Rex

    THE FILM THAT WOULD ROCK THE WORLD

    Steven Spielburg looked at the scripts for his next 4 movies.
    “ Let’s see what we have here. We have a movie called Titanic 2000. I thought they were going to get James Cameron to work that sequel. We have a movie called One A Day. Talk about bad murder movie titles. The third one is called So Real. Romance at it’s worse I bet. Ah, the fourth one seems interesting. This one is called Jurassic Park. Well this one definitely seems doable,” he told himself. He looked at his schedule. He would have to start casting right away.
    “ Dee? Cancel all my appointments,” he said. He walked out of the room, holding the JP script.


    Steven walked down his usual hallway and took a glance at the editing room. He noticed that there was an island near Costa Rica. “ I own an island, of the coast of Costa Rica. I’ve leased it from the government and I’ve been setting up a bit of a biological preserve there, spared no expense,” a warden inside the room said. Steven got the greatest idea ever. Instead of using those dumb computer generated creatures and animated toys, he would use the real thing! He burst through the room.
    “ I need that island of yours!” he said to the warden. He turned toward Spielburg.
    “ Well why do you need my island?” he asked. Spielburg showed him the script.
    “ Think of it this way, your island would get publicity and it would be totally real. I take a film crew to your island and film the movie as it really happens, everything will give you fame unheard of,” Steven explained.


    THE CASTING CALL

    Michael Banno worked upon his scripting. He was working on applying for the job of Tim in a movie called Jurassic Park. Sam Neill and Jeff Goldblum were also there for the casting. This was only the second day of casting. They had already gotten an Ellie Sattler and a John Hammond. Laura Dern was quite upset when Jennifer Lopez got the part of Ellie. Who wouldn’t be upset knowing a girl with a big butt got the role instead of you. Jeff Goldblum walked out of his casting room.
    “ I got my role,” he said.
    “ Who are you?” Sam asked.
    “ I’m some snotty Mathematician named Ian Malcolm,” Jeff replied. Mike and Sam nodded their heads. It was soon Sam’s turn to go to get his role. They had it so that there was a person doing lines with you. Sam didn’t really worry about this. He was an actor for a while so he knew everything there is to know about casting calls. He had told Mike, “ The more you know, the less you know. Each one is different. You just have to go with the flow.” Mike stood up as Sam left the room. Sam had been cast as Allan Grant. Mike walked into the room. A man sat there looking at him.
    “ Well hello Mike. You’re here casting as the role of Tim Murphy, is that correct?” the man said. Mike nodded his head.
    “ Good, lets get started,” the man said.


    AFTER THE CAST

    They all had a party for the new cast. Jennifer Lopez was drinking Spanish wine.
    “ I don’t know much about the island, but I hear that it’s gonna be a big island, there’s going to be a lot of cameras filming our activities for the movie. I’m counting on being a hero,” said Mike. He felt happy that he had gotten his first big role. He had played on TV shows before, but this was his first movie. He was also Sam Neill’s biggest fan so Sam took it upon himself to teach Mike everything he knew about the movies.
    “ Just go with the flow,” he said. He took a Pepsi since he was with a minor and wanted to set a good example. Mike was looking at Britney Spears who had the role of Lexis in the movie. She was his favorite singer. He smiled at her and she smiled back. He walked over to her.
    “ Great role you have, we’re family,” he said.
    “ You have the role of Tim?” she asked. Mike nodded his head in agreement.
    “ Well that’s very cool, um.” she was saying.
    “ It’s Mike,” he said.
    “ Oh, ok. I’m Britney Spears,” she said with a smile.
    “ I know, I listen to your music,” Mike said. He smiled at her. She smiled back. She liked him already.


    ISLAND PASSAGE

    There they stood on a heliport waiting for their chopper.
    “ Well we’re going to shoot a movie that has no actual script,” said Jeff. Mike turned toward him.
    “ I thought that the prepped up script was real, but it turns out that it wasn’t. We’re going to do some real world type stuff,” he said. Sam liked that a bit, though he was used to using scripts in his movies. Jennifer Lopez on the other hand was totally used to improvisation. She used to do it all the time for her first album, ON THE 6. She smiled a bit. She was looking around for the chopper. Since it wasn’t coming, it gave her a chance to work on her make up. Suddenly the chopper came into view. She jumped up and planted a red line up her nose.

    In the air, they all looked toward Spielburg on the other side.
    “ We’ll give you one weekend to work around the dinosaurs. I’m not sure what will happen but you should be safe as long as the fences are up and running,” Spielburg said. Spielburg sounded sure of himself. Could they really trust Spielburg to really tell them the truth?
    “ What type of dinosaurs are you using?” Mike asked.
    “ I’m not going to say. It’s a surprise for you to figure out. It’s really quite remarkable actually,” Spielburg answered. Then he mumbled under his breath, “ I hope they have some really cool dinosaurs on that island that the warden made.”

    Soon the island came to view. It was a remarkable sight.
    “ There it is,” said Richard Attenburough. He was an old man with gray hair. He looked toward the island. The camera had been rolling of coarse secretly. They looked at the area as the chopper passed over the island. Jennifer Lopez smiled. She loved tropical islands. In the cockpit, Spielburg had been thinking for a minute.
    “ Maybe I should have gotten Eminem to star in the movie,” he said. The chopper began to land on the heliport below. Richard looked down.
    “ We’re going to have to land a bit fast since there’s high wind shear. So just hold on,” he said. Even as he said that, the chopper was a bit rocky on the way down. Mike looked down as he saw the waterfall hitting the rocks below.
    “ Must be some island,” he said. He couldn’t hold back his excitement knowing that he’d be on the biggest adventure a film cast ever starred in before. This was even his first movie and it was a big one.
    “ Nervous?” asked Sam Neill.
    “ Yeah, very nervous,” Mike answered. Sam could relate. He was nervous the first time he ever starred in a movie.

    The chopper landed without any problems. There was sure to be a car waiting for them. Everything seems to have been planned ahead of time. Mike wondered where they’d be staying.

    The journey begins

    Once they got into the jeeps, they began riding towards the visitor’s center. Mike looked around at the plants. He was surprised to see flowers and trees thought long extinct.
    “ Is it me or does this whole area feel like we’re back in the Jurassic period?” Mike asked. Now that he had mentioned it, Jeff had felt the same way.
    “ You do bring up a bit of a point. I feel it too. Where’s Steven Spielburg when you need him,” Jeff said. Soon they reached an open field. Sam Neill had noticed something moving behind a few trees.
    “ Look!” he pointed over to the trees. They got out of the jeep just in time to move over there as the Brachiosaur moved out into the open.
    “ It’s a dinosaur,” Jennifer Lopez said.
    “ Well what did you expect?” asked Richard. She turned toward him.
    “ Really big turtles,” she said. Mike rubbed his face in disbelief. Not only were the dinosaurs supposed to be dumb, but also now he had a dumb co-star. Suddenly tom hanks walked toward them.
    “ I got all the so-called dinosaurs in their pens, but I don’t think I want to deal with that big guy they call T-Rex,” he said. Mike looked toward him.
    “ You have a t-Rex here?” he asked.
    “ Well that’s what they tell me,” hanks replied.
    “ Mike, Sam, Welcome to Jurassic Park,” Richard said. Sam turned to look at a nearby pond when he saw all these moving dinosaurs walking about. He was utterly stunned.
    “ How did you do this?” he asked.
    “ I have no idea...let me show you,” Richard said.

    There was a big screen. They had sat down and were waiting for something to happen. Richard walked down to the screen and stood there with a walking stick. Suddenly a few clones walked to him.
    “ Well hello there,” said clone 1.
    “ Hello clone 1,” said Richard.
    “ You seem very familiar, have I seen you before?” asked clone 2.
    “ Well yes. I look exactly like you, you bloody clones,” Richard said.
    “ Oh I see, well how did we get here?” asked clone 3.
    “ Here, let me show you,” said Richard. He then took his walking stick and slammed it upon clone 3’s head. Blood flowed from his head and all of a sudden a piece of DNA that looked like the MICHILIN tire man came out of him.
    “ Well hello there, I’m Mr. DNA,” said the tire man.
    “ Bad casting,” said Britney Spears.
    “ Who’s gonna heal from a wound like that?” asked Jeff Goldblum.
    “ Life surely doesn’t find a way after a hit like that.” That’s when clone 3 fell dead of blood loss. But that was ok because another clone popped out of his butt. Now there was a clone 31/2 standing.
    “ I come from your blood, guys. And I can help create armies of clones. That’s why I’m featured in star wars episode 2,” Mr. DNA said. Now Mike was sure that Mr. DNA was a freak.
    “ Just imagine it. Thousands of me create one DNA strand. Thousands of DNA strands create cells. And thousands of.” Mr. DNA was saying but Mike cut in saying, “ We get the picture you tire man look alike.” The Mr. DNA floated away, upset. Everyone clapped for Mike.
    “ Thank you, thank you,” he said.


    Soon they walked up on the raptor cage. Mike looked down into the cage.
    “ I bet they have a rhino in there,” he said.
    “ Actually their raptors,” said Jet Le. He was the Asian guy for the movie.
    “ Raptors,” repeated Sam.
    “ Yeah. They are for killing off you guys later in the film,” Jet Le said.
    “ Well as long as we don’t die yet,” Jennifer Lopez said. Britney Spears looked toward her.
    “ She must be blonde,” she said. Sam yawned a bit. It was Friday only and they had a weekend to film this chaotic movie that was going to make him miss the super bowl.
    “ I don’t see any raptors,” said Jeff Goldblum.
    “ Right now it’s basically scripture that you don’t see them until later,” replied Jet Le. Mike looked around.
    “ Ok so we don’t see any real dinosaurs until it is time?” Sam asked. Jet Le nodded his head.
    “ Where’s the fun in that,” Jennifer Lopez said.

    At the dinner table, they looked around at the flashing pictures. Jennifer Lopez liked the picture of her new album commercialized. Even Britney Spears wasn’t that conceded, Mike thought. She was busy staring at him for some reason. He yawned a bit, and so did Britney.
    “ We’re going to have a spot of company out to the park,” said Richard. Mike looked toward him.
    “ We’re going to the tour now?” he asked.
    “ Why, yes,” answered Richard.
    “ Yes!” said Britney.
    “ Any comments?” asked Richard.
    “ Yeah. I have one. I don’t know what type of place this is supposed to be, but does anyone get the feeling their being watched?” asked Jeff Goldblum. Mike felt the same way. He looked toward Britney, who quickly turned away whistling.
    “ I get that feeling,” said Mike.

    In a hidden room, Steven Spielburg thought that he was being spotted. Though he wasn’t making a sound, it was obvious that they had felt a strange presence near.
    “ Do you think this is wise?” asked the cameraman.
    “ OF coarse it’s wise. This is going to be the best movie ever,” Spielburg said. He wanted it to be the best movie ever. He was going to do whatever it took to make the movie a success.

    After dinner, the group went toward the car station.
    “ I hope they use real cars for this movie,” Sam said. He didn’t feel like using prop cars for a movie of this caliber. Suddenly 2 electronic cars moved toward them. The logo had a Spinosaur on it. It also said Jurassic Park ///, coming July 2001. On the back door it had a T-Rex logo that said THE LOST WORLD JURASSIC PARK coming May 1996. Sam Neill looked a bit confused.
    “ Is it just me or is this a planned trilogy?” he asked. Mike walked up to him.
    “ It’s just you,” he said. They got into the cars and buckled their seatbelt. Britney sat next to Mike. Now he knew that she was interested in him. He smiled secretly as he had hooked his favorite singer into falling in love with him. Jennifer Lopez sat near Sam Neill.
    “ Wasn’t there supposed to be a lawyer in this movie?” asked Mike. Suddenly Bill Murray sat in the driver’s seat of Mike’s car.
    “ Sorry I’m late. I missed the chopper,” he said.
    “ Now I’ve seen it all,” Mike said. They looked around waiting for the car to move.
    “ By the way, Bill. You really should do Ghostbusters 3. It just wouldn’t be Ghostbusters without you in it as Peter Venkman, trust me when I say that,” Mike said.
    “ I’ll consider it then,” Bill replied. That’s when the cars began moving.
    “ WHOO HOO!” Britney called out.
    “ My god, what do they got in there? Steven Spielburg?” Jeff Goldblum said.

    Inside the command center, John Candy was drinking a DR Pepper.
    “ How could they get me to play the part of a fat guy that eats candy? Are they trying to say that I’m fat?” he asked.
    “ The thought has crossed our mind,” Richard said.
    “ Very funny,” John said.
    “ Quiet, all of you. Their entering the park,” Tom Hanks said.
    “ And besides, you’re giving me a headache.”

    Back in the cars, they were looking at the fences.
    “ They don’t look fake,” said Jeff. He had a point. The bars were metal and well made to be faked. The lights were really blinking bright. How could they do all this? Everything was almost too realistic to be a movie. Behind them, a camera crew worked to get the perfect shots. Suddenly Mike thought he saw something.
    “ Look over there” he said pointing toward the fence. There they almost saw a Dilophosaurus. It looked at them. Then it hopped toward the fence. Jennifer Lopez got close to the window. The Dilophosaur noticed her and spit its goop at her. She fell back startled and fell on top of Jeff Goldblum.
    “ Guess it doesn’t like your music either,” Sam Neill said.
    “ Very funny,” she said.
    “ The Dilophosaur thought so,” he said. The Dilophosaur had walked away, satisfied.

    Next they had come across the T-Rex paddock. The 2 cars stopped in front of the fence.
    “ Food for thought. Never have Steven Spielburg bring you out to an island full of robotic dinosaurs,” said Jeff Goldblum. The fence looked tall and could possibly kill anyone with the electricity that flowed through it.
    “ Where’s the dinosaur?” asked Jennifer Lopez.
    “ Don’t know. How about you go out of the car and sing your single,” said Sam Neill.
    “ Great idea, and how about I shake my fat ass?” she said.
    “ That’d be great,” he replied.
    “ I was being sarcastic,” she said.
    “ I wasn’t,” Sam replied.
    “ Fine,” she said. She got out of the car and walked toward the fence. There was a microphone there. She picked it up. She looked toward the cars. She turned up a background tune and began singing “My Love Don’t Cost A Thing”. Sam was starting to regret even telling her to sing. The cars started moving again. They were most likely trying to get away from her. Sam waved toward her. She waved not realizing they were leaving. Then as she was alone she realized it.
    “ Hey they left me!” she said.

    “ That was one way to get rid of her,” Sam said.
    “ She was annoying,” said Jeff. The cars continued on toward an open area. There was a dinosaur on the road ahead. It was off to the side. Sam noticed that it looked sick. He jumped out of the car. He walked down to the dinosaur. It was a triceratops.
    “ What a dinosaur,” he said. He touched the skin. It sure felt real to him.
    “ It’s real,” he said. “ It’s real!” Sam looked toward the others. They had all gotten out of the car.
    “ This is a real dinosaur,” he said. Mike touched the horns.
    “ No doubt that this is real. The horns are real bone.
    “ Perhaps that Mr. DNA dude was not kidding,” said Britney.
    “ I don’t care if he was telling a fib. The point is now there are real dinosaurs on this island,” Mike said. They all agreed with him. Then Sam remembered that Jennifer Lopez was still at the T-Rex paddock. He looked toward the others.
    “ Should we go after her?” he asked.
    “ Don’t know. After all, she is a bad singer,” said Britney Spears.
    “ Yeah but she’d do the same for you and I’m sure she considers you a bad singer as well,” Jeff Goldblum said.

    Somewhere from afar, Steven Spielburg smiled as his movie was going quite well. He had a camera and was filming all this.
    “ This is going to be great!” he said.
    “ When I threw away the real script, I knew this was going to be a great survivor series,” he said. Soon he’d have the production crew turn off the fences so the dinosaurs could get loose. The warden had told him about letting the dinosaurs loose and that he shouldn’t do it. Steven had not really listened since he was going to do it anyway.

    The group sat in the cars. They were wondering what was going to happen. They had begun moving again, but this time they were re-tracing their steps. Now was the time to get back to the hotel before the nearby storm hit them. When they got to the T-Rex paddock, they realized Jennifer Lopez was gone.
    “ Where could she have gone?” Sam asked.
    “ Don’t know,” Jeff replied. They looked around for a while. Suddenly the cars stopped in front of the cage.

    There was a silence as Tom Hanks looked around the room. He had noticed the power had gone off.
    “ What the,” he said. John Candy looked at them.
    “ Dumb people,” he said. He walked out of the room. On his computer was a picture of a playboy model. He walked down to the gummy dinosaur eggs. He took one of each species. Then he walked toward his car and drove off.

    Mike yawned as he sat in his car. Britney looked out the window. She was facing the paddock. She then noticed something. She turned to Mike.
    “ Where’s the goat?” she asked.
    “ There was no goat,” he replied. They took a look outside and saw silverware. A knife and a fork. Boy, were they huge though. They started cutting into a goat. Then the fork brought it up to a huge dinosaur mouth. It was the T-Rex! He was eating a goat! Once he was done, he wiped his mouth with a napkin. He then looked at the cars. He took his pare of scissors and walked toward the fence. With great accuracy, he cut a straight line down the middle of the fence and broke through. Sure beat using his teeth. Using a wire that he cut in 2 places, he flossed his teeth. Then he walked out and roared. Bill Murray ran out of the car and into a bathroom.
    “ And they thought his arms were weak,” said Sam Neill. The T-Rex roared again and looked toward the car with Mike in it.
    “ Excuse me, do you have any Grey pupon in your car?” the T-Rex asked. Mike looked at Britney and shrugged. The T-Rex got angry and started attacking the car.
    “ All this for some mustard?” asked Sam Neill.
    “ Makes the best sandwiches,” said Jeff Goldblum. He got out of the car and took a flare. He ignited it and yelled, “ Hey! Here’s your mustard.” Then he threw the flare into the fence. The T-Rex followed the flare but he realized that it wasn’t mustard just cause he couldn’t smell it. By that time Jeff had gotten out of the car. He had recently made a mustard sandwich so his breath smelled like it. The T-Rex smelled the breath.
    “ MUSTARD!” he roared. He started chasing Jeff Goldblum. After he got closed to the guy, he nipped Jeff in the leg but he didn’t taste like mustard so he just let him go. But the thing is that he had broken through the bathroom door. Now he saw Bill Murray.
    “ Please don’t eat me! I’m just playing a lawyer!” Bill said. The T-Rex thought for a moment. He hated lawyers. He ate Bill up whole.

    Sam was helping Britney get out of the car first since she wasn’t stuck to the car. When she saw the T-Rex come toward them, she screamed. Sam covered her mouth.
    “ Don’t move. If he doesn’t smell your breath, you won’t die,” he said. She remembered that she had eaten a mustard and ham sandwich too. The T-Rex had smelled mustard again but he didn’t know where. The smell had gone away just as it had appeared. He had to find mustard and soon. He was hungry and needed it for his sandwich.
    “ We have to get Mike out of there,” Sam said. The T-Rex began attacking the car again though. He slammed his nose into the side of the car and Sam and Britney were pushed along the edge of the paddock walls. Soon they were atop of the big concrete wall. Sam looked down at the car.
    “ Some car,” he said. He looked down at the back of the wall to see a very long drop. But some of the wires were forming a rope. He climbed onto the rope and so did Britney. Just as they were starting to climb, they saw the car being pushed over the edge.
    “ Move to the side!” Sam said. They moved and just as they had gone out of range, the car fell and crashed into a tree. Sam looked down toward the car.
    “ I feel sorry for him,” he said. He looked a bit worried though. If T-Rex could do that, just imagine what else he could do. Sam began climbing down a bit fast with Britney in tow.

    Richard looked down toward the computer screen.
    “ What happened?” he asked.
    “ The computers went down,” Tom Hanks said. Richard looked at him.
    “ We have to find them,” he said.
    “ I’m beginning to hate this movie,” Tom replied. He walked out the door. He went to his locker and there was a gun. It was a real gun since these were real dinosaurs and not some dumb computer generated image. He walked toward his jeep and got in.

    Steven Spielburg loved the filming of this movie. He hadn’t seen a film this great since his Indiana Jones films.
    “ This is the best,” he said. The cameraman looked at him.
    “ You’ve got to be crazy if you like this. Man this is not what I signed on for,” he said. He gave Spielburg the camera and walked off.
    “ You’ll be dead by morning,” said Spielburg. He continued the filming of the movie.

    Jennifer Lopez on the other hand was another matter. Spielburg had specialized floating cameras follow each of the actors. That’s how he was to get the different shots for the movie. He could see what was going on while he had his own camera for the making of documentary to put on the DVD edition. She walked down a forest trail slowly. She didn’t want to get lost but she had the feeling that she already was.
    “ Hello?” she called out. She heard no answers. There were squeaky voices all over the place. She couldn’t get herself to admit that she was scared.
    “ Why do I have to be alone? I want to sing!” she said. She had trouble finding out that she’d be in this movie because of her singing career. Now she wanted to know something else. Does she get say in the director’s cut? If so, she’d wipe out everything that they did to her. She’d be the hero of the film like she was going to be in the upcoming film Anaconda. She looked around quickly because she thought she heard a voice.
    “ Hello?” she asked. Still she heard no answers. She was now getting freaked out.
    “ TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE! THIS ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE MOVIE,” she said. Still she heard no replies. But the interesting thing she did notice was that there were foot impacts getting closer and more intense. Out of the blue came the T-Rex and it had spotted her. She began to run.
    “ I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO DIE IN THE FIRST MOVIE!” she screamed. The T-Rex chased her more. Then without a sound, the juvenile jumped her. Landing with a thud, she looked up as the juvenile began eating her. She screamed as she died.
    “ Ooh pretty good scripting,” said Spielburg. “ I give that an A.”

    The rain fell softly as Sam Neill looked around the tree. The car hadn’t fallen all the way down so it was his luck. He looked toward Britney Spears.
    “ Isn’t this the part where you should be screaming your lungs off trying to say how the lawyer left you?” he asked.
    “ No. It ruins my singing voice and I’ve had a pretty bad time screaming anyway. I don’t wanna ruin this picture,” she said. Sam must admit that she was right in ways. She had a pretty good singing voice, though her singing wasn’t that good at times. He didn’t want to insult her though. She was better than Jennifer Lopez was by far.
    “ Well anyway I’m going to get up this tree here and rescue Mike. Lets just hope he’s not smart and tries to climb down before I can make my heroic entrance. But just then Mike climbed down.
    “ I’d run if I were you,” he said. The car was crashing down. They went into the sewer that was nearby. The car crashed onto the stump and landed on its hood on the ground.
    “ Well at least that saves me from some traumatic event,” Sam said.

    The jeep moved down toward the T-Rex paddock. Tom Hanks walked toward the 2nd car.
    “ Well there is only 1 car here. The T-Rex is loose so I probably should get my ass out of here,” he said. He looked around to see if there were any survivors. He spotted the ruined bathroom.
    “ God Bill Murray should not have come at all,” he said. He looked at the ruins. Then he noticed Jeff Goldblum.
    “ Are you ok?” he asked.
    “ Just a little acting promotion here I think. Remind me to ask Spielburg for a bonus on this film,” Goldblum said.
    “ After all this, I think we all deserve a bonus,” Hanks replied. Tom moved Jeff to the jeep. He put him in the backseat.
    “ Be careful now, we don’t want blood on the seats,” Tom said. Jeff nodded in agreement, though he didn’t think that he had a choice. Tom moved toward the edge of the cement wall that was the paddock floor. He looked down the cliff.
    “ Man, do I have to climb down there?” he asked himself.

    Tom walked down to the car.
    “ Pretty nifty these cut scenes,” he told himself. He looked at the car.
    “ Crap, where are they?” he asked. He looked around to see if he could spot them. He couldn’t see anyone, but he saw the footprints.
    “ There is no way I’m going after them,” he said. “ Cut scene!”

    The jeep stood silent. Jeff could feel the vibrations of the T-Rex near.
    “ Great. It’s just my luck that I get attacked the first time, but now he has to come back and finish me off,” Jeff said. He spotted Tom Hanks walking toward him.
    “ Hurry!” he called. Tom ran to the jeep and got in. He turned the engine on and began driving off. That’s when Jeff saw the T-Rex come from the trees and spot them.
    “ Oh no. Here we go again,” he said. The T-Rex ran toward them. He was searching for more mustard, Jeff thought. Now the T-Rex pulled out the fork and knife.
    “ Oh no, not those again,” he said. The T-Rex ran after them and tried to push the jeep onto its side. Jeff turned to Tom Hanks.
    “ Drive faster, must go faster,” he said. Tom put it on over drive and the jeep went faster. The T-Rex being upset at this turn of events walked off.
    “ Think they’ll have that in the movie?” he asked.

    Richard walked down the hallway toward the kitchen. He was upset at this turn of events.
    “ I had no idea that a movie could be so dangerous,” he said.
    “ I signed on with the impression that none of this was going to happen. It’s a movie for the love of baseball. Why do we have to die during the filming?” He entered the kitchen and grabbed some doughnuts. He was getting very upset and when he was upset, he ate fattening foods. That was one of the reasons he was getting fat. He sat down next to the raptor picture.
    “ Do I have to be a fat old man with a role of a park executive?” he said. Just then, Samuel L. Jackson walked to him and sat down.
    “ I really don’t know the answer to that, but when you find out, tell me,” he said. “ After all I’m not a main character to this movie. Later on I’ll probably get forced into shutting down the systems. As I go to turn them on some raptors will attack me. That’s my fate. Not exactly your usual ending in a movie is it,” Samuel said.
    “ Trust me it’s better than other endings. At least your not some pathetic old man who causes the deaths in ways unheard of,” Richard said.
    “ That’s true,” Samuel replied. They sat there eating ice cream that was melting.
    “ Spared no expense,” Richard said. Without their knowing, 2 cameras floated above them. Steven was watching them and filming.

    He sat near a tree, watching the happenings taking place. He liked the T-Rex attack. But he found that Jeff Goldblum wasn’t having the best time acting. He wasn’t acting of coarse, and that’s what made the whole mood a lot better.
    “ This movie is going to be great,” he said.

    The world couldn’t have been prepared for something like this. Suddenly dinosaurs and man were thrown back into the mix. Sam Neill stopped for a second to rest. They had been walking quite a way from the car. Mike and Britney sat on a log.
    “ I don’t get why this is taking place, but this is one hell of a ride,” Mike said.
    “ I hope this is the last film though,” Sam replied.
    “ I’d hate to see what the sequel would be like.”
    “ It would probably be like some lost world type plot. They have a second island with dinosaurs but no fences this time. They’ll have Jeff Goldblum’s character back as the leader of the group,” Mike said.
    “ Fat chance of him coming back as Ian Malcolm,” Sam replied.
    “ I don’t know about you but I have to pee,” Britney said. She walked away.
    “ Do you like her?” Sam asked.
    “ I sure do. She’s the best friend I’ve had so far through out my life,” Mike replied.
    “ Well don’t let go of her then,” Sam said. Suddenly they heard the T-Rex roar in the background. Britney came back from peeing. They looked up a tree.
    “ Nah that’s ok,” said Mike. They climbed up the tree anyway. That’s when they noticed the Brachiosaur group in the distance. They were eating off of the trees.
    “ Lovely dinosaurs,” Sam said. He went up to a higher branch and did a Brachiosaur call. They all looked toward them. He smiled. He went back down to them and they fell asleep.

    Richard looked toward the group sitting in front of him.
    “ Shutting down the system will undo everything that has taken place on the machine. If we shut down the system, we will get everything back,” he said. Samuel L. Jackson looked toward him.
    “ I knew this was going to happen,” he said. He got up and went towards the system buttons. Tom Hanks grabbed a flashlight. Samuel turned off all the power.
    “ Hold onto your butts,” he said. He turned back on the power.
    “ Well I guess it’s my time to die. See ya guys,” he said. He walked off to try to restore the power generator in the raptor-infested area.
    “ And to think he was just a supporting role,” said Jeff Goldblum. They looked at each other.
    “ 10 dollars says he dies quickly,” Tom Hanks said.
    “ Nonsense. I say he dies slowly, 20 dollars said it,” Goldblum said.
    “ I take your bets and say he doesn’t die at all. 100 dollars says it all,” Richard replied.

    Sam woke up and looked at the Brachiosaur group. They were closer now. He smiled a bit, knowing that they were plant eaters and not the other way. Britney woke up and looked at them.
    “ I hope they aren’t meat eaters,” she said.
    “ Nah, their plant eaters. But for Jennifer Lopez, they’d just stomp on her. Sure gives you the MTV music award easily, don’t it,” Sam said.

    Sam brought them onto an open field. They were happy to be out of the woods for now.
    “ This sure is a big island,” Britney said. Mike nodded in agreement. He didn’t exactly like big islands. Especially big islands full of dinosaurs. Suddenly they saw a bunch of Gallimimus running toward them. They were running pretty fast, as if they were being chased or something.
    “ Mike do you know what they are?” Sam asked.
    “ Yeah, they are Gallimimus. They are supposed to be like Flamingoes but I could be mistaken,” Mike said. They started running towards a tree that had been overturned and laid on the bottom. Overhead the Gallimimus jumped over the tree. They definitely had grace as they ran. Suddenly the T-Rex broke through the side of the forest and chased them. It then grabbed one and started eating it. The group moved out of the way and back into the new side of the forest. They were now on their way to the visitor’s center.

    Soon they were deep into the woods. Sam looked down between some roots.
    “ Guys, come here,” he said. They walked up to him. They turned to see what he was staring at. He was looking at a nest. There were hatched eggs there.
    “ Sure proves that they are breeding,” said Sam. Mike nodded in agreement.
    “ This could be a big problem,” Britney said.
    “ Guess we have to continue on,” Sam suggested.

    They walked forward on their quest to get to the visitor’s center.
    “ Do you think you’ll star in any more movies after this?” asked Mike.
    “ Well I was cast as a wizard named Merlin in a made for TV movie. That sounds interesting so I guess I’ll sign on to that,” he said.
    “ Well I’ll look for it on TV then. I’ve always been a fan of magic and wizards and mages,” Mike said. Britney nodded in agreement. That’s when they came upon the perimeter fence. Sam looked around. He gave a loud yell. They soon heard the roar of the T-Rex. Sam looked up and began climbing. Mike and Britney did the same.

    Tom Hanks looked toward Richard and Jeff.
    “ I’m going to check out the place,” he said. “ Besides, we have to know who won the bet.”

    He walked down toward the place. He looked toward the raptor fence and noticed that they had escaped.
    “ Yup, just as I was hoping. Raptors getting free of their cage,” Tom said. He continued down the road and saw the power house as he called it now. He walked into the place and followed the piping. Soon he came upon the generator and grabbed a handle. After pumping it 3 times, it locked on and was charged. Tom looked at the buttons.
    “ Ok lets see how I do this,” he said. He pressed the ‘push this button’ button. Then he saw the lights turn on. He began pressing the other buttons.

    Sam was climbing down the other side when they saw the lights flickering on and off.
    “ Quicken pace of descent,” he said. They began climbing down faster. Just as Mike was getting halfway down, he got shocked by the power and fell to the ground. He looked at them and said nothing. Then he got up and said, “ That was neat! Can we do it again?”
    “ You’re not dead,” Sam said surprised.
    “ Nah, I wear gloves. It just sort of felt funny and I let go cause of it,” he said.

    Tom Hanks was about to go back to the others when a raptor jumped in front of him.
    “ Clever girl,” he said. The raptor jumped at him and began eating him.

    Sam, Mike, and Britney walked into the visitor’s center and looked around.
    “ Ok I’ll be back, you be careful,” Sam said. He noticed a gun and gave it to Mike.
    “ Blow any heads off if you need to,” he said. He walked away. Mike walked toward the bowl of Jell-O. He looked toward Britney Spears.
    “ This has meat and stuff, that sucks,” he said. He grabbed the tapioca pudding and started eating. Britney Spears took a piece of cake and started eating.

    Sam looked around the grass for Jennifer Lopez, who might have arrived if she wasn’t killed. Then he looked around for the others.
    “ Hello? Is anyone else alive?” he asked. Nobody answered so he guessed that they might be somewhere hiding. That’s when Laura Dern walked up to him.
    “ I hear you need an Ellie,” she said.
    “ I think ours went a-wall on us,” Sam said.
    “ Well that’s just fine. Leave the movie just as its ending production,” she said. They walked down toward Richard Attenburough and Jeff Goldblum.

    He cocked a gun.
    “ Are you sure it’s just 2 raptors?” he asked.
    “ We’re not sure since Tom Hanks never replied as to who won the bet,” he said.

    Mike looked around the room as he ate. There were some nice pictures of the dinosaurs. Though one looked incredibly life like. Life like? Oh no it was a raptor! He ran toward the kitchen but the raptor jumped in front of him. It then jumped up, but Matrix special effects kicked in and the motions became slow motion. Mike raised his gun and fired a round from the shotgun into the raptor’s chest. As the effects ended, the raptor flew back into a table breaking it in half.
    “ That would make one kick ass movie special effect,” he said. He brought Britney toward the door when they saw Sam and Laura.
    “ Yup, 2 left,” Laura Dern said.

    They entered the lab.
    “ We have to reboot systems before we can call for help,” Sam said. Britney went to the computer and started working up the systems. Sam and Laura held the doors but raptors were trying to push inward. Britney worked as fast as she could but she couldn’t find the file yet. Suddenly there it was. She double clicked the file and it began working its magic. The file began to show the rooms and the security turned on right away. The door locked and Sam let out a sigh of relief. He was getting tired of holding the door.
    “ Some movie this is turning out to be,” he said. He grabbed a ladder and raised it up to the vents.
    “ The raptors will be getting through, lets climb up here,” he said. But first he picked up the phone.
    “ Richard here,” Richard answered.
    “ Richard. Call the helicopter. Make sure they meet us at the heliport.
    “ Ok,” he said.

    Sam got them up the vents just as the raptors broke through. They crawled through the vents as fast as they could.
    “ I will never star in another movie that has to do with dinosaurs again,” Mike said.
    “ Me neither,” Britney said in agreement.
    “ They should just destroy this island,” said Laura. After getting down from the vents they were now in the main visitor’s center. Sam looked down. It was an awfully long drop. They decided to use the skeleton to climb down. The fun was interrupted though as a raptor jumped from the platform onto the skeleton. The weight of the dinosaur was too much and the skeleton came crashing down. Sam got up and looked around. There were more raptors coming in. They were surrounded now. As the raptors closed in on them, something just didn’t feel right. The T-Rex broke through a plastic wall and grabbed a raptor. He chopped on it and threw it down to the ground. But just as he was going to eat it, the other raptor jumped onto his back. The group ran toward the door and left.

    Richard drove up to them with Jeff in the back.
    “ Get in,” he said. They began driving off. But that’s when the T-Rex broke through and began chasing them.
    “ Not again,” Jeff said. The T-Rex began to catch up and they sped ever faster toward the chopper. They thought that the T-Rex stopped following them so they slowed down a bit. They were now at the chopper.
    Everyone got into the chopper and rested a bit. The chopper had to refuel a bit.
    “ Well that was a ride for the books,” Mike said. Sam had to agree with that. He would love to get back to the mainland to tell the others about this island. As the chopper finished refueling, they felt impact tremors. The T-Rex was nearby. They got into the chopper and began lifting off. The T-Rex suddenly broke through the area and grabbed onto the chopper’s footpads. The T-Rex twisted the tubing around and the chopper lost control. It spun around and crashed into the mountains a bit. The footpads were totally destroyed. The pilot struggled to get control and finally steadied the chopper. He’d have a problem landing in the mainland though so he’d have to find a way to let them off. The T-Rex roared in anger as they flew away.
    “ Some ending,” said Steven Spielburg. He walked near the landing pad. That’s when the T-Rex noticed him.
    “ Oh no,” said Spielburg. The T-Rex walked toward him. Spielburg was shaking tremendously. The T-Rex looked at him closely. Then he brought his jaws around Spielburg and swallowed him whole. Bad directing at its best.

    The chopper flew over the ocean. Sam smiled a bit as he saw Britney Spears and Mike kissing. This was a love made in heaven. And it was a disaster that brought them together. He turned to Laura Dern who was sleeping. She wasn’t there for most of the picture so they’d have to figure out what happened with the other Ellie Sattler character. But right now it didn’t matter. Right now what mattered was the paychecks. He hoped it was a high amount.

    THE END...or so we hope

    2/13/2006 11:11:11 PM
    (Updated: 2/14/2006 11:02:32 PM)

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