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DAN’S JP3 PAGE SUPER FRIENDS- The Purge
By Mr. Chaos
Voice over guy- They were once a bunch of board members. That is, until a nuke hit the site, and turned them into DAN’S JP3 PAGE SUPER FRIENDS. We find our heroes in the middle of a friendly debate.
Chaos- You dumbasses!
Carna- Yea, we’re the dumbasses, (rolls eyes)
Maester- Since when did we appointed you speaker for us, Carna?
NVO- Yea, We all know I should be the one doing the talking
Chaos- That’s all you seem to do these days…
NVO- What did you say you egotistical bitch?
Carna- Would you two stop!
Maester- Oh, why don’t you go do your weekend update.
Butler- Sir
Chaos, NVO, Maester, Carna- What the hell do you want!
Butler- Mr. Chaos, there is a phone call for you.
Chaos- Alright, Alright. (Picks up the phone) Yea what the fu… Dan…. Yea, ok.
Carna- What’s that all about?
Chaos- Dan says that there is trouble on the board. If something isn’t done, he’ll have to purge.
Maester- PURGE! But, what about all the innocent posters?
NVO- We have to do something.
Carna- I agree with you for once NVO
Chaos- Come on (leads them to bookcase, pulls on book, bookshelf moves reveal huge adult book store.) Oops, wrong bookcase. (Pulls correct book, reveals 4 poles) Come on! (all 4 slide down, and at the bottom are costumed.)
Batcarna- Super NVO, you come with me. (hop in Carna mobile)
Chaotic- Spider Maester, you come with me (both hop on chaos cycle)
Butler- Is there anything I can do sir?
Chaotic- Yea, stop stealing my fine china
Butler- But sir I didn’t (fork falls out of sleeve) yes sir.
Chaotic- Let's Ride!
Voice over guy- Our heroes race towards the city of Dan’s Boardville, hoping to stop the fighting before the purge.
Jango- I think the mods suck!
Bob- Screw you Jango!
(Batcarna and Super NVO ride up to the feuding members.)
Super NVO- Alright, just move along now.
Jango- Listen asshole, why don’t you try pulling the tights out of your crack, then talk to us
Batcarna- HEHEHEHE, that was pretty funny
Bob- Oh, why don’t you go screw robin you tool
Super NVO- Shall we proceed kicking their asses?
Bat Carna- Yes, lets
(Batcarna punches out Bob while Super NVO beats up Jango)
Voice over guy- Meanwhile, Chaotic and Spider Maester come to stop a fight between Dac and Dark Hunter.
Chaotic- Listen, why don’t you guys end this before we kick your asses back to the TLW site
Dac- Oh screw you chaotic, your so full of yourself. “I left the site 6 months ago, I fought in the site wars.” No one cares.
Dark Hunter- Yea, and Spider Maester, don’t old women like your ass
Spider Maester- I don’t like my aunt that.. uh, Shut Up. (fires web at Dark Hunter)
Chaotic- It’s time to make you Jewish Dac. (takes out shogun swords, swipes at Dac.)
Voice over Guy- While this happens, Dan makes a tough decision)
Dan- This turn of events are unfortunate. Begin the Purge
Ben- But Dan, is that legal?
Dan- I will make it legal
Ben- And the Super Friends?
Dan- They had their chance. Their ass is grass
(Chaotic slices at Dac)
Chaotic- Stand still you little…. (sees a bright blue wave of light) PURGE!
Dac- Huh?
Chaotic (grabbing Spider Maester)- Time to go! (race on chaos cycle through the city as the purge devours posts all over)
Spider Maester (seeing that the jump they are about to make is to big)- You fool, you’ll kill us!
Chaotic- Hold on! (pulls out shogun sword, and as the approach and arch, stabs sword into arch. Spider Maester grabs Chaotic’s legs)
Maester- This was a good idea, really it was. I just love hanging here like this, 50 feet off the ground.
Chaotic- It could be worse. (a second purge heads straight at them, as first head toward them from behind
Maester- You were saying?
Chaotic- It could still get worse
(We see the Carna mobile racing away from the first purge. Seeing the second purge, Batcarna hits the eject button, and Super NVO and Batcarna fly in the air, Super NOV grabs Spider Maester’s legs, Batcarna grabs Super NVO’s legs)
Chaotic- This is not my day.
Batcarna- We are going to die
Super NVO- YOU THINK!
Batcarna- Since This is our last moment on earth, I think we should all tell each other what we are thinking of right now.
Chaotic, Super NVO and Spider Maester- OK
Batcarna- You guys are like family to me. I wish I could give myself up to save you guys
Super NVO- I feel the same way
Spider Maester- Me to
Chaotic- GOD, TAKE THEM, NOT ME, OK? LET ME LIVE! SCREW THE OTHERS
(other look up at Chaotic)
Chaotic- What?
Batcarna- We were having a touching moment here
Super NOV- Yea, and you screw it up
Chaotic- Let me apologize for not wanting my last moments on the board not being queered up
Spider Maester- Now that’s sad, that you can’t express your feels.
Chaotic- What’s sad is you can!
Super NVO- This is just like at my birthday party last year
Chaotic- Not again
Super NVO- We were thinking about the good times..
Batcarna- and you streak us!!!
Chaotic- Oh, well at least I didn’t enjoyed it!
(all look at Maester)
Spider Maester- HEY!
Batcarna- You’re the guy who’s aunt likes his ass
Spider Maester- Yea, well.. uh, SCREW YOU!
(Ben walks by)
Ben- Hey guys, the purge is over
Chaotic- What
Ben- Yea, it stopped right before it reached you, like 10 minutes ago.
Spider Maester- That’s good (pauses) Listen you asses
Batcarna- oh shut up!
Voice over guy- Is the board safe at last? Will Mr. Chaos get it touch with his feelings? Will the butler stop stealing the Good China? Find out next time!
Super NVO, Batcarna, Spider Maester, Chaotic- Oh shut up voice over guy!
Voice Over Guy- Go screw yourselves!
7/16/2002 1:29:51 PM
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