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    #23
    The Dr. Burke character in TLW is believed to be a subtle 'dig' by Spielberg towards dino expert Robert Bakker, who has written that he consulted on JP when he really did not.
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    Dan's Page Kill All Zombies (Part 4)
    By Aragorn

    Dino-Snore landed on the ground and disconnected his parachute. He dropped the empty rocket launcher and loaded a clip into his machine gun and started firing around at the nearby zombies.

    Whichever ones didn’t fall down dead, turned to look at him and started stumbling towards him. A few picked up pace and were soon running at him.

    Dino-Snore smiled and took the Runners down first, splattering their brains all over the place. Then he worked on the Slow Movers.

    His gun emptied and he slapped in a new clip and continued on. He saw two people run out form another street and a few of the zombies turned and started moving towards them.

    “Run!” Dino-Snore shouted. They ran towards Dino-Snore and reached him. “I meant away from the zombies!”

    “My name is Carnotaur3, this is StealthRaptor.”

    Dino-Snore handed them his last two guns. “Then use these and let’s kill these fuckers.” All three of them opened fire on the advancing zombies.

    ***

    JPJunkee and Yvonne were rushing through the underground access tunnels.

    “How much further?” Yvonne asked.

    “Not too much.” Junkee answered. “It should just be up ahead.”

    Suddenly Yvonne was yanked backwards and she screamed. JPJunkee whipped around and saw a Zombie dragging her down a side-tunnel.

    “Yvonne!”

    “Keep going!” Yvonne shouted. “I’ll catch up! I’ve got this fucker!”

    JPJunkee did just that. He turned and continued on. Yvonne raised her gun above her head and pointed it behind her and let off a few rounds. She stopped moving and turned around. The zombie that had been dragging her now laid on the ground, its brains splattered all over everything.

    Yvonne smiled, satisfied. However her thoughts were interrupted when she heard growling and rasping. Glowing eyes suddenly lit up around her. She turned her light up higher and it brightened the area around her.

    She noticed she was surrounded by zombies.

    “Oh shit.” As the zombies pounced on her, she let out a long, blood-curdling scream.

    ***

    Aragorn ran down the street, three Runners quickly behind him. As he ran, he kept turning around to fire, but the shots always missed. Sometimes they would hit the zombies, but the shot would always miss the heads.

    Suddenly one of the zombie’s heads exploded.

    “Brains!” The second zombie shouted as it bent down and started eating the brains from the dead zombie. The third zombie however, kept following Aragorn.

    He turned around and waited for the zombie to get closer. Right before it reached him, Aragorn raised his gun and fired it at the zombie’s head, point blank range. Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.

    The mystery shooter stepped out of the darkness and fired at the feasting zombie, killing it. Aragorn turned to him. “Who are you?”

    “Rex. Seth Rex.”

    Aragorn walked up to him and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you Mr. Rex. Care to join me?”

    “What’s up with the costume?”

    “Oh, it’s modeled after the costume for a superhero I created.”

    “…It’s gay.”

    “You’re gay.”

    “Ohhhh, that was such a good comeback.” Seth Rex said sarcastically.

    “Better then your gofront!”

    “What the hell is a Gofront?”

    “I don’t know. I had nothing.”

    Before Seth Rex could say anything else, they were interrupted. “Brains!” They both turned and fired at a nearby stumbling zombie. It didn’t last much longer.

    “So where you headed?” Seth asked.

    “I’m gonna try to find a transport that’ll take me Off-site.” Aragorn answered. “try and get the hell away from here while I still can.”

    “Any idea where to?”

    “Some nice little cozy site someplace. Away from all this.”

    “Sounds gay. But sure, I guess. Gotta be better then being eaten by zombies.”

    Aragorn went over to an overturned car, Seth Rex following. He took out a map and unfolded it on the side of the car. He pointed to a spot on it. “We’re around here.” Aragorn said. “We’ve gotta get to here.” He traced his finger over to a spot half-way across the map. “Between us and there is about a few hundred zombies. Think you’re up for it?”

    Seth smiled. “Affirmative.”

    “Alright. Let’s move like we got a purpose.”

    ***

    Guilty Spark tried his best to control the truck as it went over bumpy and rough terrain, heading to the cabin.

    “Can’t you slow down a bit?” Snake-Mark yelled.

    “Oh, and let the zombies catch us? Fuck that.” Guilty Spark argued.

    Guilty Spark saw a trio of zombies pushing car wreckage out in front of him, just a little bit too late. The truck slammed into the wreckage and went flying onto its side, crashing into the ground and skidding to a stop.

    Guilty Spark moaned as he touched his bleeding head. “Are you alright?”

    Snake-Mark looked at him slowly and angrily. “I…said…to…FUCKING SLOW DOWN!”

    "They set a trap! They set a fucking trap! How can they do that, man? They're brain-dead!"

    “Brains!”

    The two turned their heads and saw the three zombies advancing on them. They both undid their seatbelts and fell to the ground. They stood up and exited the truck.

    “Do you trust me?” Snake-Mark asked his partner.

    “I guess…” Guilty Spark said slowly, unsure.

    “Then run!”

    Guilty Spark turned and started running. Snake-Mark took out his long-barreled gun and aimed at the sideways Truck.

    “Open wide, mother fuckers.” He fired, exploded the truck. The explosion engulfed the three zombies. “Haha! Take that!”

    “Um, Snake?” Snake-Mark turned and saw what Guilty Spark saw. The explosion had attracted the attention of just about every single zombie around.

    “How far is your cabin?” Snake-Mark asked.

    “In the middle of that forest.” Guilty Spark answered.

    “Shit.”

    Just then a latch that was hidden in the ground and covered by a bush, lifted up and JPJunkee climbed out, looking muddy after having crawled through the tunnels.

    Snake-Mark and Guilty Spark automatically trained their guns on him.

    “I’m alive!” Junkee shouted. “Don’t shoot me! I’m with the Dan’s JP3 Page Mod Force!” Snake-Mark and Guilty Spark sighed and lowered their guns.

    “We’re headed to my cabin,” Guilty Spark explained. “To wait this thing out. You’re welcome to join us if you want. The city is overran. I doubt there’s anyone else left alive.”

    Junkee looked back towards the city, and then to the other two people. “I’ll escort you to your cabin.” He said. “But then after that, I have to head back to the city and look for any more survivors.”

    “Fair enough, but if we’re going, we better go now.” He pointed at the approaching zombies.

    JPJunkee checked to see how many rounds he had left. “Alright, let’s do this.” The three of them lifted their guns and started jogging towards the forest.

    Snake-Mark blew the heads off of three nearby zombies, while Guilty Spark killed one and Junkee took out a small handful.

    They reached the forest and picked up their pace to a run as more zombies swarmed around them, most of them running.

    Snake-Mark blew the arm off of one, and then took out its head with his second shot. Guilty Spark blasted one zombie’s head, and then shot another in the chest. He used the gun as a bat to knock its head off when it reached him. Junkee fired short, controlled bursts from his gun, taking some zombies down, while others were only hit in the chest or other parts of the body.

    Guilty Spark punched a zombie that got too close, and then after it fell to the ground, he blew its brains out. He fired again and again, taking another two down. Snake-Mark fired his last shot, taking a zombie down. Another one ran up to him and he dropped the gun to the ground as he took out his sword and decapitated the zombie, and then rammed it through another’s chest, pulling up, splitting it’s top half, all the way to the top of the head, in half. Junkee just continued his firing.

    “Man, I feel like we’re in An Uwe Boll flick!” Guilty Spark shouted out.

    “A!” Snake-Mark shouted back to him as he decapitated another zombie. “A Uwe Boll flick! Not An!”

    “Then someone should tell HIM that!” Guilty Spark killed one zombie, and then half-turned and fired at another, also killing it.

    Junkee took down any near zombies, and then took out a knife from it’s pouch on his leg and he threw it, embedding it into a zombie’s head, digging deep into the brain. He raised his gun and fired some more at other zombies.

    Guilty Spark reached the door to his cabin and looked around for a key. He reached up above the door, but didn’t find it there either. “Ah hell!” He raised his foot and kicked the door in, breaking it off it’s lock.

    “Hurry!” Guilty Spark shouted to the others as he rushed inside, preparing to close the door. Snake-Mark chopped up one last zombie and Junkee blew the brains out of a couple more zombies before they reached the cabin and ran inside as well. Guilty Spark slammed the door shut as the three started pushing furnisher up against it.

    The zombies outside started banging on the door, chanting “Brains! Brains! Brains!” over and over, but none were succeeding in getting inside.

    “Fuck the city.” Junkee said, breathing heavy to catch his breath. “I’m not going back out there!”

    ***

    The Zombiefied Mikeymike stumbled down a street among the other zombies, a gaping hole in his head. He was still alive for some unknown reason. Since he didn’t have any brains, he was not killed when the pole was rammed through his head.

    He stopped outside a building labeled ‘Nuclear Testing’. He then started moving again, towards the building.

    2/7/2005 7:36:24 PM
    (Updated: 2/7/2005 7:39:33 PM)

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