Jurassic Park: Operation Genesis (XBOX)
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    #48
    TLW earned a record $90.1 million during it's first weekend (which included the Memorial Day weekend) -- experts said that rainy weather across the country coupled with the recognizable JP brand helped TLW break records.
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    At 5:26:02 AM on 9/12/2003, MartinRandle said:
    OK... go through and proof read your text... I have to do this all the time because I type too fast and make mistakes.

    There are lots that degrade your story.

    Whipping his ass when you meant wiping 2 very different things.

    Also I am not sure where you are going with this, I foresee a fall from greatness type of story but the pacing was a little too fast again.

    As before I think you should check facts, there would have been witnesses on the plane, and no amount of blind accusations without proof would warrant even a meagre sentence.

    Still like the ideas and the guys attitude. I'd say this is one story to finsh then go back and rewrite in a couple of years with some greater maturity and life skills.

    Now onto part 3!

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