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alright. i changed the check to cash already, and you can't expect me to get every freakin detail right.
At 6:21:34 AM on 1/17/2003, Strider_Aragorn said:
sorry, i overreacted. ill read chapter two, even though the storyline isnt up to scratch
At 7:39:48 AM on 1/15/2003, Strider_Aragorn said:
Nublar* sorry
At 7:39:14 AM on 1/15/2003, Strider_Aragorn said:
Yes. Spinosaurus aegypticus lived in CAIRO. Tyrannosaurus rex lived in ALBERTA/MONGOLIA. S. a. could not killed a T. r. a thousand miles away. I mean, it sure could try ... and just cause there's a cheque in the mail dont mean that Alan's gonna be voluntarily going to Isla Sorna. He seemingly just went: "Oh well, too bad, so sad, let's go for no reason". I hope your dinosaurs make up for the 'stuff'-ups.
At 1:29:58 PM on 1/14/2003, jvelociraptor said:
ok, done. anything else.
At 1:24:24 PM on 1/14/2003, jvelociraptor said:
ok, thanks. i don't think you're being mean. you're just telling me the truth. i'll change checks to cash, and i'll find some way to deal with the embryos and cameras thing. thanks a bunch!
At 3:30:27 PM on 1/12/2003, Parasaur.w said:
Oh dear...
There are a lot of -- to put it lightly -- fuck ups in this ... uh, story. To start, you must have a very narrow conception of how checks work. A check is not money, it is a promise of money. One can receive a check, and if it is not wanted, it may be torn up and voided. A 'check in the mail' means nothing. Grant could quite easily ignore it, and Hammonds money wouldn't go anywhere. Thus, your motive for Grants return to the island is paper thin. Also, after a decade, think of how much sediment, rocks, sticks, logs, whatever else would build up over an object laying in a stream. There would be no possible way to locate it.
If the embryos were engineered not to go bad, then why did they have to be kept in a cooler? The coolent inside of a shaving can could not logically support tempature sensitive embryos for ten years.
Grant never met Nedry, therefore, would not remember him.
The whole cameras with batteries thing is stupid. Nedry would have been stopped if they worked.
Not to mention the hundreds of grammatical and spelling errors throughout it.
Um, I don't like to be mean, but kid, this story sucks. Please, before you write a story, think up a decent plot.
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