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A potentially interesting story--but I got a little bogged down with technical errors (grammar and spelling bits).
I know that the general consensus--here at Dan's and pretty much all over--is that spelling and grammar are secondary. That's just not the case.
Take the time to proof your work before submitting it. There is nothing more damaging to a story than to be pulled up and away from it by a stand-out error in spelling. The key to successful fiction is to engage the reader completely--and it's hard to stay engaged in the face of errors, even as simple as a single poorly-structured sentence.
Not that I intend this to be entirely a critical comment. I am enjoying the story, and I can see its potential. Do keep writing.
At 12:21:22 PM on 5/30/2004, hunter2.0 said:
That dosent help-does it?
At 12:21:10 PM on 5/30/2004, hunter2.0 said:
Bump!
At 9:31:33 PM on 5/20/2004, Mr.Camel said:
Awesome chapter, I liked it a lot! Can't wait for chapter 3!!! =)
At 8:10:49 PM on 5/20/2004, hunter2.0 said:
Will ANYBODY post a comment?
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