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Very excellent Drucifer.
This is amazing work, i loved the new dinosaurs menacing the group and the stad-off between the raptors and dilophosaurus was excellent very realistic.
The character development is brilliant especially that of Grant.
Amazing stuff man.
~Dark Hunter
At 10:17:33 PM on 4/2/2003, Crisco said:
can't tell u how impressed i am, it gets better every post!
At 1:04:13 PM on 4/1/2003, MartinRandle said:
I have waited ages for this ... and it was worth the wait.
What a great idea a stand off between the dilo and the raptor - stunning mate!
At 1:47:36 AM on 4/1/2003, drucifer67 said:
Thanks for the positives, everybody!!
Vader--glad you found it exciting. There are moments when I'm just not sure if the action is going to come off to the reader as I intend it, so it's good to hear.
JPJunkee--I like adjectives like "great", "kick-ass", "excellent", and "superb". I'm looking forward to having you review this story as a whole :)
I toyed with the idea of a standoff between a dilo or two and a few raptors, but I dismissed it early on, deciding I didn't really like the idea so much. It hit me last night that it was exactly what I needed to keep this chapter moving--I'm glad it turned out to your liking.
Can't say for certain when you'll see Malcolm again--but there's more to his story, so rest assured you'll see him.
And of course you're right about the dilophosaur. I've read that before, and I just spaced it. Alas--perhaps I'll add in a line where Tim or Cross indicates that it's a juvenile...that will save my a$$, right? :)
Yvonne--thanks first for the suggestions and edits...you found some pretty dumb mistakes there (note to self: only write when awake!)
The changes in Dr. Cross' character aren't as subtle as I had originally intended, but I realized that I didn't have a whole lot of story left to go, so I figured I'd better get her turned around. Glad you're starting to like her a little (damn shame I can't make you like Rick!!)
Markinson...sneaky? Nah...surely not :)
Greg Diamond.....well, I just had to. Your latest chapter was fresh on my mind while I was writing last night, and as I may have mentioned before I like tying into other people's fanfics. Sort of boosts everyone's credibility, eh?
And as for the cliffhanger...as soon as I finish replying to the comments here, I'm going to work on Chapter 23 (which is currently just over a page long) ---so if all goes well, you won't be in the dark for too long :)
Thanks again, everyone, for the positives...and for the support...and for not losing interest while I was in "suspended animation".
Stay tuned...
At 1:07:35 AM on 4/1/2003, yvonne said:
Yep! Like they said! X-Factor is back ... with a vengeance, I may add. Now onto some highlights:
Grant's frail condition has brought out a different aspect of Lyndsey Cross' character, and she's becoming more liked by the other characters (and readers), which is a nice change. :)
Rick had some good lines, and Markinson is a sneaky little guy! I'm watching him.
And Greg Diamond was mentioned! Woohoo! lol. Thanks for that, it was very unexpected. I also liked the other little hallucination Grant had, with the winged raptor. And him not wanting to tell the others about his condition was exactly in character IMO. Good job.
The dilo/raptor battle was very nicely written. I was happy to see the one dilo able to hurt at least one of the raptors. The tension created here was very well done also. Had me reading very quickly, as Tim and Cross tried to basically carry Grant to safety.
And what a cliffhanger of an ending. Don't live us in the dark too long! I'll have to resort to begging for hints! lol.
This is a story to be proud of. Kudos to you, my friend. :)
At 12:26:21 AM on 4/1/2003, JPJunkee said:
X-Factor is back! And it's as awesome as it has always been!
Great dialogue, kick ass action, and just another excellent chapter for this superb JP story!
The whole scene with the dilophosaur and the raptors was just so. . . cool. It was written incredibly. I could visualize it all happening. Very good work.
There was one small problem though. The dilophosaurus. Okay, these guys are eight feet tall, not five feet as the film JP showed them to be. In fact, in the JP film, the dilophosaur was but a young specimen, hinting as to why Nedry said, "Compared to your big brothers, you're not so bad" (or something like that). Anyway. . . dilos are bigger than 5 feet tall. Just thought I'd. . . point that out. . . . yeah.
Anyway! Great stuff! It was well worth the wait! I was kind of hoping to see Malcolm in this chapter. . . but perhaps next time.
-- JPJunkee
At 8:08:00 PM on 3/31/2003, Vader said:
Whew, what an exciting chapter - great dino action! And a triumphant return to fan-fiction for you, Drucifer - seems like its been ages since I last read X-Factor.
Keep up the great work, I really enjoyed this new entry. :)
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