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Ah, thanks. Yeah, I'm not American ... so I dont ... understand ... American ... if that makes sense ...
Anywho, thanks for the reply. By the way, MY rating is around about ... 4.5. Out of 5, of course ...
At 1:12:37 AM on 9/22/2003, drucifer67 said:
Thanks Seth Rex, Crisco, and Yvonne!
Seth Rex: Glad you find it interesting...I'm hoping as the story progresses, things will get even more interesting...
Crisco: Glad to know you're reading and interested.
Yvonne: I'm pretty sure I've missed writing more than you've missed reading it, but...anyhow, I'm like Mr. Holloway here, "glad to be back in it" :)
All of this positive response is promising...I hope to keep everyone satisfied as this story unfolds.
Looking forward to taking this journey with you all once again...
Stay tuned!
At 12:16:22 AM on 9/22/2003, yvonne said:
I've missed reading what you write, dru! *sighs* lol.
Glad to see that you're back!
You're off to an interesting start so far, too. I love how you've written Calvin Holloway. He's a criminal, but he's an endearing criminal. There was some great dialogue, too.
Keep up the good work. I can't wait to get absorbed into the world you'll create for us. :)
At 5:32:44 PM on 9/21/2003, Crisco said:
awesome prologue, yea, you do have a lot to live up to after x-factor i loved that fanfic, keep up the good work, great character too, looking forward to next post
At 2:02:52 AM on 9/21/2003, Seth Rex said:
An interesting beginning
At 1:23:21 AM on 9/21/2003, drucifer67 said:
Whoa...trippy...
DH, I didn't notice the "9.5/10" before...
Now I have THAT to live up to...
I gotta re-write everything now..hehe...
Thanks...that's an awesome rating for a prologue--hope the rest of the story meets your expectations!
At 1:21:23 AM on 9/21/2003, drucifer67 said:
Thanks all for the feedback!
Stryderman: Sorry you found that one line confusing, but it meant pretty much what JPJunkee says--the lines on his face make him look even older than he really is.
Sometimes I get a little colloquial, I guess...:)
Anyhow, glad you're enjoying it.
Dark Hunter: Thanks for the positives. Yes, this is related to X-Factor...it's actually something of a prequel. This is roughly two years earlier, before Eichmann got busted :)
I'm glad you (and JPJunkee) found Holloway likeable. I wanted a criminal you couldn't help but like, and I guess it worked...
JPJunkee: Seems like you like the same lines I like (I'm especially fond of the Yellow Pages line!)
And thanks to all of you for the compliments on my writing ability. Sometimes I wonder if it's really good or...well, sometimes I wonder, and it's nice to know that people like my writing.
Glad you found this beginning to be interesting, and I hope you all stick around, as I plan to get things really rolling as soon as possible :)
Thanks again all, and stay tuned!
At 3:19:28 PM on 9/20/2003, JPJunkee said:
Eichmann. . . . . . Ooooooooooo, interesting, this is.
Okay! A few lines that, well, I just liked a lot.
'There was good, and there was very good, and then there was Calvin Holloway.'
Something about that line, it just describes the character very well. Kind of get the idea that the guy is cocky, but yet he has every right to be cocky because of his skills. I really like this Calvin guy, like Dark Hunter said, he's a bad guy but you root for him the whole time. Cool character, and I'm interested to see where he goes in this story.
'He burst through like a triumphant runner taking the tape at the end of a grueling race, and he envisioned a whole field of uniformed cops chasing along, with three-digit numbers taped to their chests, laboring fruitlessly to keep up.'
The bit that really made me smile about this line, was the 'with three-digit numbers taped to their chests' part. It's just a good example of your writing flare. . . Or something like that, I guess, hehe.
'His captor was a middle-aged man, probably in his early forties, heavy-set, with a deeply lined face that showed his age and then some.'
You don't get that line Stryder? Well, I thought it was quite profound really. Obviously he looks his age, but with the features like in this narrative the 'deeply lined face' kind of gives you the impression that he looks of course middle aged, but he could pass as someone much older. . . . . . . . Like. . . . Al Pacino! Yes! He’s in his early 60s but sometimes he looks not a day older than 90.
"Really? You need me? Well, why didn’t you just call me? I’m in the Yellow Pages under Go Fuck Yourself."
Hahaha! I really like this guy now!
Ahhhh, you go from the great story that was X-Factor, and the follow-up does not disappoint in the least. As always Dru, your writing is very, very good. Very descriptive but at the same time it flows extremely well. Good dialogue, too, of course. Anyway, this is quite an intriguing start for what I have the feeling will end up being a really interesting story to read. I anxiously look forward to more.
-- JPJunkee
At 5:54:10 AM on 9/20/2003, dark hunter said:
Very nice writing Dru.
This is a secondary to X-Factor is it not? Eichmann, hmmm.
The suspense of the prologue was excellent as was the subtle but very well written character development of both characters. Holloway is a bad guy that is likeable, you've made him very likeable and that is a good thing.
Very well written, the action or what little there was was nice and the dialogue was good.
Rating: 9.5/10
~Dark Hunter
At 3:41:22 AM on 9/20/2003, Stryderman said:
Ooooh! Ahhhh! I'm wondering what the hey this is all about, now. I remember Eichmann - he was the funny chap from X-Factor. This is an interesting beginning. I can see this going very well.
One thing: what does this mean? " ... a deeply lined face that showed his age and then some."
I've never heard anyone talk like that before, LoL ...
Keep it up!
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