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My favorite line this time, is not even a piece of dialogue. . . Oooo.
'After a brief pause to let the muted laughter pass, he continued'
I really like that, and I think that line, in a way, shows your writing style and class. Things that would normally be left unsaid, you take the time to say them. A normal writer here would simply say 'he waited for a laugh, but received none, so he continued' but you've got class! Hehe, nice writing.
I like Kate as a character, nicely written character, but I hope one of the monkeys catches her unawares, muahahahahaha!
Hammond's speech, in almost every respect, was quite perfect. You captured his charm very well, and his character's likeness emanates in the dialogue you gave him. The same can be said with Malcolm, as well. I hope both will be in the story more, as it goes along.
Nice stuff, I look forward to more! :)
-- JPJunkee
At 1:29:53 AM on 10/16/2003, yvonne said:
What wonderful writing! I love to read your stories, dru. Always a pleasure. :)
I liked how you didn't let us know it was Kate for sure, until her meeting with Dixon had almost come to an end ... that was cool. And the way she just kind of discarded him at the end says a lot about her character. Kate is awesome. :)
And now there's this mysterious Rwandan sneaking around the UN building. Can't wait to find out more about this.
The best part of the chapter, in my opinion though, was the Hammond and Malcolm podium speeches. Wonderfully presented. And, once again, you've written Malcolm perfectly. He was very charismatic, even in the short amount of time he was in the story.
Nicely done!
At 7:26:11 AM on 10/15/2003, MartinRandle said:
Great portrayal of Hammond and Ian Malcolm Drucifer.
You bring a level of maturity to your writing that enables you to reach into the heart of these characters and bring them to life. A great skill, your dialogue is spot on the pacing is right, and you don't over burden us with too many characters or scenarios.
So looking forward to what mischief Ingen has up its sleeve. I for one can't imagine a company like that doing anything honourable without some ulteria motive.
It would be nice to see a few animals that mankind has already wiped out - like the Dodo, and the quagga. brought back. but I don't reckon it'd be too long before Hammond could justify mammoths and sabretooths - he's too much of a big kid not to!
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