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it's just the whole idea of it...I just have ill feeling towards that kind of plot...but it won't keep me from reading whats to come...ill woes do not a bad story make
At 9:00:52 AM on 9/26/2003, drucifer67 said:
Thanks, Dark Hunter and Illiteration, for the feedback...
DH: Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'm one of those who believes that character is everything, so I'm really pleased to see the positive responses to the characters I've created. I've tried to make Eichmann into someone you can't help but loathe, so it's good that he's "unlikeable"...
9.5/10...I'm liking this :)
Illiteration: Glad you like the writing style and dialogue. Someone once told me that dialogue is what gets read, so I try to make it as good and as believeable as possible. Good to know that it seems to work.
A note on the plot: I'm sorry you don't feel good about it, but it may be some consolation to know that it hasn't even got rolling yet--there's much more to discover, so maybe it'll come together for you.
Stay tuned!
At 7:42:24 PM on 9/25/2003, Illiteration said:
Well I have ill feelings to the plot...
but i love the writing and that's good enough for me...great dialogue...something I need to work on
good stuff...keep it coming
At 9:40:22 AM on 9/25/2003, dark hunter said:
Excellent.
As per usual your development of characters is extraordinary, especially Holloway and Thompson. You've made these two, despite the obvious fact that one is working for the bad guy, very likable. Likewise you've made Eichmann very unlikeable, he's like the classic bad guy, plus more. Elusive, mysterious, vicious.
The scene with Thompson and his wife was very well done and believable. As was the following scene with McMorries and Samuel. You describe them subtly yet with enough force to hit the nail home.
The plot too is being worked out very nicely with Hammond being drawn in and a new park...
All up, extremely good.
9.5/10
~Dark Hunter
At 12:17:34 AM on 9/25/2003, drucifer67 said:
Thanks, everyone, for the feedback...and it's all positive so far---WOO-HOO!!
Crisco: Glad you find it awesome, and it's good that you're liking the characters...I'm liking them pretty good so far too, hehe...
JPJunkee: What could Eichmann possibly want in Africa? I'm not telling :)
Glad you're liking the characters, too...
I figured that Hammond would want to become less dependent on automation, after his dialogue with Ellie in JP (the ice cream scene--yeah, you remember)...anyhow, it just made sense that he'd want to avoid the same old mistakes.
Yvonne: Lots of things going on in this chapter--hopefully not too much, eh? "Engrossing"...I like that :)
I like Jack. Jack is important, but I'm still deciding what sort of good guy he's going to be...oh well, I'll know soon enough...
McMorries is someone I've wanted to write about for a very long time---the rugged type, ya know. He and Samuel are two of my personal favorites, too :)
What IS Eichmann up to? I'd ask him, but he doesn't talk much about these things, hehe...
Anyhow, glad you're liking it!
Stryderman: The board is set indeed...or mostly set, anyhow :) I appreciate your insight on my "unique style"...and yeah, I think I understand exactly what you mean.
Glad you're enjoying!
Martin: "Leagues ahead".
I keep re-reading that phrase...I like that alot :)
I have made every effort to keep the characters to a minimum, so there's not so damned much to try to keep up with--and even though I have a few yet to introduce, I don't think it will get muddled (at least I hope!)
Group B...what is in Group B? That is the question, I suppose (warning: it's not nearly so exciting as you might think, lol)
Glad you're enjoying it...hope to keep your interest!
Thanks again for the feedback, all...stay tuned!
At 6:16:53 AM on 9/24/2003, MartinRandle said:
This is really strong stuff, I thought your last fan fic was good but this is leagues ahead. Very nice use of dialogue and humour. Your characters have lots of depth and humanity, and I like the fact that you haven't cluttered the story with 30 characters that are under-developed and difficult to get to know.
Just 5 or 6 that we are getting familiar with.
Very excited as to what is in group B. I have an idea but I won't say anything in case I'm a) right and spoil it for others or b) wrong and look like a prat!
Mart
At 4:39:40 AM on 9/24/2003, Stryderman said:
Well, well, well ... the board is set. This is getting much more interesting now. Things are coming together. I quite like your unique style, ie the way you subtly intertwine movement with emotion and understanding - if that makes any sense.
Keep it up!
At 2:29:59 AM on 9/24/2003, yvonne said:
Lots of things going on for a first chapter. Very engrossing, dru. :)
Jack Thompson seems to be at the forefront for story hero person. I'll wait a few more chapters before making the decision about who the main character might be, though, since Calvin is so very likable.
McMorries is cool too, and Samuel is shaping up to be a perfect supporting character.
You've done well with developing characters so far, and the dialogue has been awesome, too. Plus, I just want to know what the hell Eichmann is up to ... that sneaky little jerk. :)
Looking forward to more!
At 1:49:44 AM on 9/24/2003, JPJunkee said:
Again, nice work. I like this Jack Thompson character, he should be fun. And Calvin’s still pretty cool, I wonder what Eichmann could possibly want in Africa -- of course it has something to do with InGen and Hammond, though! . . . I think. . . . Anyway, I like the way the story is progressing so far. The way you are introducing a new cast of characters, all unique in their own ways, is very cool, too, as they are all basically in totally different places in the world. But, in time will all come together -- I’m sure of it!
So, Hammond has gone back to cloning animals again, eh? I like the way Samuel explained about the men not fearing group A, but B was a totally different matter. Also, the small touch with Hammond no longer wanting to be over reliant on computers was very nice -- sort of shows how he has progressed over the years.
Anyway, good stuff, and I look forward to more!
-- JPJunkee
At 8:50:56 PM on 9/23/2003, Crisco said:
AWESOME as usual! This looks like an awesome fan fic, very original. Cool characters so far.
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