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At 8:44:25 PM on 7/23/2002, dinogod65 said:
It's really good. thanks.
At 7:24:19 PM on 7/23/2002, TyrannoRex112 said:
I re-wrote it for you, and I think you'll like it.
Aaron Baker was squatting over what looks to be a human body. But the carcass was so torn apart he could barely tell if it was human. Aaron was in his early 30's and was a brave soul. He was one of the best detectives of the twenty-first century. He had a small family made up of his beautiful wife, Caroline, and his son, Jason. Although he was a very good agent, he was puzzled. He couldn't figure out whom or what had did this. He found many traces of saliva all around the carcass. He leaned closer, and saw large bite marks. He stood up and faced one of the soldiers investigating the area. "When did you discover the body?" Aaron yawned. "10,10:30 senor."
Aaron folded his arms. "Well, I’ll have to take it to the lab to figure out what it is." Just then they heard a woman scream up in an alley. "What the hell's going on?!" Aaron yelled, outraged. The five men who were helping investigate the body ran up the bank and took out their weapons.
Aaron just went along with the crowd and when they got to the alley they saw the woman's body at the mouth of the dark alley. They heard snorting and scuffling. The men cautiously walked single file into the darkness. The last one turned to Aaron. "Leave this to us." Then 3 pairs of glowing eyes appeared. "Look out behind you!" Aaron yelled but to late the men went in and there was a brief round of gun shots and screaming then it stopped and a the body of a man fell out of the darkness into the light. Aaron nearly pissed his pants from fear. Then the pairs of eyes came out of the dark. Aaron was so scared he could only make out the shape.
The shape was a long snout, medium body, long tail, sharp claws and 2 very strongly built legs with a huge claw on both feet. Then Aaron felt a sharp pain in his gut. He felt time go by slowly as the shape's head came down and closed on his neck.
I just fixed some errors, that's all.
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