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Another potential factual error -- if the health class shares the same timeslot, why does it seem to start considerably after personal growth?
That said, I thought this chapter was pretty decent. The action scene seemed a little gratuitous, to be entirely honest -- I echo Monki's sentiments, and would add the suggestion that this just doesn't seem to be the sort of story that would call for such description. 'I rushed to her office with all the speed I could muster' could easily have replaced three or four paragraphs, and more effectively, too. It just seemed out of place.
Still, it's very well-written. And I think that personal growth prof taught me in my sophmore year!
-The Host
At 11:14:36 PM on 12/29/2002, yvonne said:
That was a great addition to the story, Vader. That personal growth teacher did sound a little odd. lol.
And wow! I didn't know you could cancel a course over the phone like that. It's been awhile since I went to college I guess. Back in the day, you had to fill out a long form and submit it to an office clerk. hehe
And what luck to make it just in the nick of time ... only judging from that last sentence there, it sounds as if she will be odd, too. lol. :)
Can't wait to see what happens to ya next.
At 1:15:41 AM on 12/26/2002, Monki said:
I've been reading your stuff, I enjoy it, but maaaan, calm down! I hope you are more relaxed in college now.
College is about relaxing and discovering just what the hell you want to do with your life, running from class to class (literally) can't help!
Anyways, I enjoy your stuff, makes me remember my freshman year. I could probably write a story about that, I roomed in Texas' largest dorm that was designed by an architech known for designing prisons. My roomate was homosexual and had a crush on our next door neighbor, and our other neighbors loved rap and managed to always put their sub woofer right next to my head on their side of the wall when I wanted to sleep.
I could go on, but that would be a story!
-Monki
At 12:44:54 AM on 12/26/2002, JPJunkee said:
That Personal Growth teacher was freaky, I don't blame ya for dumping the class. LoL
And this Dr. Hopkins sounds like she may be some sort of trouble in the future, judging by your last sentense.
Good writing, and I look forward to more.
-- JPJunkee
At 12:03:49 AM on 12/26/2002, RaptorVinny500 said:
Great work Vader! Good suspense.
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