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Good chapter. I do wish that Scott was a little better-developed. I like Dr. Hopkins, though. And I felt that your description of your feelings as you were handed back the test was spot-on, quite good. I think you make the reader miss Rachel almost as much as you must have, which is impressive. A tad melodramatic, but still well-done. I look forward to Entry II!
-The Host
At 11:29:14 PM on 1/6/2003, yvonne said:
What a perfect end to Entry I, Vader. The song was especially touching, that's for sure. And what a revelation, finding out that Scott was related to one of the instructors. Yikes.
I applaud you for bringing your personal life into a story, and sharing it with everyone. You're such a good writer and the story flows along very well. :)
Bring on Entry II ! :)
At 10:10:54 PM on 1/6/2003, JPJunkee said:
I hate Scott. And if he were bullying me around like a pinnate, I'd give him a fist in the teeth. I realize that Scott is a real person, but the fact that you have written him so well, and made me actually hate him, should be taken as a great compliment to your writing abilities.
This was yet another great chapter in a wonderful story. And as much as I enjoyed the little confrontation with Scott. The part that really got me, was the song at the end. Maybe that's partly because I've always liked that song, and because the song had a similar effect on me during a similar even. . . . but either way, that part was amazing!
Bravo, Vader! I hope it won't be long until Entry II is released, because I won't be able to last too long. . . .
-- JPJunkee
At 8:43:15 PM on 1/6/2003, Chavez said:
I commend you on this. This is now tied for my most favorite story on this site, tied with Icebreaker's Origin. This was fantastically written and showed all the different types of emotion. I truly hope EntryII comes soon.
At 8:40:45 PM on 1/6/2003, RaptorVinny500 said:
lol. Wow Vader, awesome final chapter. I can't wait for Entry II!
At 8:37:23 PM on 1/6/2003, Majestic-1 said:
Good. But you still didn't kick his ass.
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