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Oh, and I was thinking that maybe you should try switching the steelblue and navy colors around, making the body of the story steelblue. It is a little hard to read, but I just copy and paste it into WordPerfect anyway, so it's not that big a deal for me.
At 1:55:13 PM on 7/2/2002, yvonne said:
I liked how we got a glimpse of what working at a zoo would be like. It was good and detailed. Now onto parts B and C....
Well, I have to admit that I'm on the side of the FBI. I don't think those zoo people have the right to alter animals. And Piper. I thought she was a likable character at first, but now she's dreaming of altering all zoo animals. She's no better than the rest of the bureaucratic jerks. At this point, I'm sort of hoping that Piper is right in front of that animal when the A.I.I. chip goes on the blink. Then maybe her perceptions will change a bit.
The writing was good, by the way. If you hadn't done such a good job presenting everything, I wouldn't have gotten so worked up. :)
At 11:44:04 AM on 7/1/2002, TyrannoRex112 said:
Awesome Vader! Vivid descriptions!
Loved it.
At 4:50:55 AM on 7/1/2002, AG5 [Critic] said:
<font color=Maroon>Character development is a major stand out in this fan-fic. You've really gone through some great lengths to construct such memorable characters. The plot seems to be moving along nicely, weaving both science and fiction together seemlessly. The descriptions are well put and the overall story hits close to "Leviathans" standards... but not quite. I'm really looking forward to the next Act!</font>
At 4:26:13 AM on 7/1/2002, Dino_Dude said:
Another great addition to the story Vader! Alas, I noticed a few missing words again, tsk tsk! LoL.
Very interesting concept you've got going here, ability to control animals...I like where this is going. Keep up the good work!
Cheers!
<i>Dino_Dude</i>
At 8:50:02 PM on 6/30/2002, slims91 said:
you're a FREAK Carna
At 7:02:37 PM on 6/30/2002, tobycompy2.0 said:
<font color=brick red>Whoa, this was awesome, I actually found that this act matches Leviathans, the story goes into even better character development, and it is a very articulite story. I loved this. It rocks!</font>
<font color=Midnightblue>
-What you just witnessed was the bite of the compy. Goodnight.</font>
<font color=Red><i>"We must learn to live together as brothers or we shall perish together as fools."</i></font>
<font color=Silver>The Timeline of the Gun - July 4</font>
At 6:51:19 PM on 6/30/2002, Carna [Mod] said:
KEWL? Dude I hate when people give those blatant oneword comments......oy, anyways
Kickass Vader! The descriptions are some of the best and the dialogue shines at times. But you already knew that, LoL
At 2:36:43 PM on 6/30/2002, slims91 said:
KEWL
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