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Very nice addition.
A couple of early typos:
Like Martin said: Hupa instead of Hupia
And i wasn't sure of this one:
Jenkins steeled his will and ran forward toward the steep bank, scream Keyser’s name.
Should it be:
Jenkins steeled his will, ran forward toward the steep bank and screamed Keyser’s name.
???
I dunno.
The development of all the characters especially Jenkins and Wu were very well done.
Like the last chapteryoukept me glued to my computer screen and i was very happy with the end result.
Rating: 8/10
~Dark Hunter
At 10:25:48 AM on 7/9/2003, The Host said:
Hey, Martin,
Thanks for pointing those out! When I post stories here at fanfic I generally post completely unedited ones. Going back I found several typos myself -- but only the first of the three you mentioned. You have the eyes of a hawk, my friend, and I appreciate it.
-Host
At 7:48:25 AM on 7/9/2003, MartinRandle said:
Nice piece of writing Host. A couple of typls early on which break th flow a little... like
"even for an experienced travel. " (Traveller)
"The villagers back at Monteverde often spoke of the hupa," (Hupia)
"he saw footsteps in the mud " (footprints)
etc..
good to get straightinto the action though, nice characterisation of Wu.
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