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The dialogue felt real, and the chapter overall was pretty good. But, I'm beginning to think this story has no sense of territory. I mean, a couple chapters back, they're running from raptors, and then BOOM, they encounter dilophosaurs. And then, they crash and are attacked by the rex, and just a little bit later, there's a big heard of herbivores. I mean, it's just a minor little problem. But, it seems like you're trying to cram a dinosaur into each and every chapter. . . and it doesn't need to be that way.
Also, just a little tip for writing; you say the character's name too often. When the scene is centered on Thorne for example, you feel compelled to say Thorne's name each time he does or says something. We, as the readers, realize who the "he" would be. . . Continually seeing the name Thorne kind of gets tiring, after a while.
Okay. . . that's just some constructive criticism. Really though, it was an okay chapter. . . .
-- JPJunkee
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