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I like the last line in the chapter. To me, it kinda represents how the character is changing. . . from a normal kid. . . to a rather. . . demented individual (IMO). This chapter was cool. . . and just like many of the past chapters, it was weird and original. I kinda got lost in some of the action at times though. . . but that was mainly because stuff was invisible and such. Still, this was a good, well written chapter.
Keep up the good work.
-- JPJunkee
At 6:44:29 AM on 4/21/2003, dark hunter said:
Very nice.
Loved the stylised dance of the fight, it was very well written. But at times confusing.
The invisible enemy was a great touch as was Mark's ability to judge where the enemy is.
The only downer was in one point you wrote "I", i'm not sure if you meant to write he, but it just seemed out of place.
Rating: 7.5/10
~Dark Hunter
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