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I too, noticed those few errors that Dark Hunter pointed out.
And while things like that can be overly distracting in an otherwise good story. . . this was a good chapter. The hellhound was freaky as. . . well. . . hell.
One of the problems I felt the story was having was that its supporting cast wasn't earning the proper amount of character development. But, in these last few chapters, the characters of Jon, Andria and the like are being fleshed out, and I'm happy to see it.
A nice chapter, overall. And I look forward to more.
-- JPJunkee
At 6:39:52 AM on 7/12/2003, dark hunter said:
Very cool chapter, though some of the grammar near the start was pretty bad:
What’s going on?” Jon questioned, a bit disappointed that they are staying.
(should be they <i>were</i> staying)
A twisted smile cam across his lips
(came)
he clenched his fists around to hard objects
(two)
But these were the only ones that i saw. So other then that, good job.
It was very nicely done. The character development. especially of Jon, is great. Now they you aren't just focusing on Mark, this story is progressing better then before.
The action too is very very nice.
Rating: 8.5/10
~Dark Hunter
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