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Very good. All the dialogue was believable, and the small touches like the introduction to the restaurant really help the story. I liked this chapter a lot.
What Dark Hunter said about jumping to conclusions so quickly, reminded me of something I wanted to add to one of my comments. It seems like everything is being explained and revealed as the story progresses. Like it's being made up as you go along, and nothing ever leads to anything else, because we learn of something new each chapter. Like there are lots of ideas, but they're just not connected correctly, or something.
Anyway, good chapter.
-- JPJunkee
At 11:54:23 AM on 7/7/2003, dark hunter said:
This was very nice.
The explanation from Denis was good and i like the idea of him talking but not knowing from where the info came from, very nice.
The character development is great, though they seem to jump to conclusions that seem to be right way to easily.
Hmmm.
Rating: 7.5/10
~Dark Hunter
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