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Like always, I'll list the bad first.
The first thing that annoyed me, is when they see a full moon, they automaticly start talking about werewolves. In a werewolf script. It would be like if in Dawn of the Dead, a bunch of charcters sit around and talk about zombies before they actualy know there are zombies around. It's a little bit cringe-worthy.
Also, when they are first attacked in their tent near the beginning, this huge beast is running towards them and Jackson gets inside the tent and tells everyone to hide. That shouldn't help anyone at all. The beast could easily tear into the tent, and first of all, there wouldn't be many hiding places in a tent, and second of all, a blind person could easily find someone in a tent, so I doubt that a wolf, which has better smelling, eyesight, and hearing then a person does, would have any trouble.
"The animal looks freaky, as it looks no more an animal than it does a man."
A better description other then 'looks freaky' would be great.
Also, the dialouge is quite horrible, however this is a year old and I know you've gotten better, so I'll let it slide.
When they tell the man of the house about the werewolf, he isn't the least bit shocked and seems to belive them right off the bat. Now yes, I understand that he is the werewold, but he should at least try to hide that fact. And then right after being chased back inside by the beast, one of his first sentances is 'You must be hungry, let's get food.' Again, very unbelivible, and another example of the bad dialouge.
However, on the good side of things, the over-all plot and action are both really nice, and it had a pretty interesting ending.
At 9:58:37 PM on 3/12/2005, JPFan14 said:
Yeah, I really liked it. Surprising ending as well. Great short story Seth Rex.
At 6:50:35 PM on 3/6/2005, Crisco said:
This is really cool. One of the best short stories i've read on this site.
Where did u learn how to write in screenplay-form?
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