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alright fine, i changed the use of the z word:)
At 11:43:01 AM on 10/23/2005, dark hunter said:
Nice work Punk. Good little story that worked well. I liked that we didn't know anything about the undead, and i liked how you focused soley on Jon and made the story about him, even though he was imprisoned for two life sentences. Really nicely done.
Though i also agree on the 'z' word, it didn't seem to fit, when it appeared i was just like...Oh, fine then...
~K
At 12:36:45 PM on 10/21/2005, MartinRandle said:
I agree with Troontid. It reminded me of the moment in Sean of the dead when Ed and Sean are first planning to leave the house.
Ed "are there any zombies out there?"
Sean "don't say that!"
Ed "what?"
Sean "the .. Z word!"
I think avoiding the term gives it more credence.
Great tale told well though and a nice end to my week, as I fly off to the place I call weekendland!
At 10:13:47 AM on 10/15/2005, PunkNerd said:
sure i'd be more than happy to read your story. and since i don't recognize either of your names I'll assume your new and haven't read any of my old stuff. i could make em longer, but i don't. anything i post on here is supposed to be able to be read in about ten minutes. thats all i ever feel like reading on a website, so thats how long my stuff is. and about the zombie thing, i didn't make the connection Jon himself did:)
At 5:35:55 AM on 10/15/2005, Jason Bourne said:
Great short story. However, I think that you should try focusing more on Jon's emotions to make the story longer. Keep it up, man! P.S I know this sounds impolite, but could u give my story a read and give me some tips?THanks.
At 11:15:20 PM on 10/14/2005, Troodontid said:
Pretty awesome. I liked how you kept it short by just focusing on key events within Jon area and surroundings.
What I didn'y like, however, was how you automatically referred to the Zombies as "Zombies"- I know what you're thinkin' "wtf?" And I understand that since that's what they are there should be no problem with referring to them as Zombies but it's too easy and unrealistic.
That probably didn't make sense but I tried. Can't wait to read what else you got.
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