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Nice work, Ice. Not exactly my favorite story in the series, but a fine addition to the series for sure, and it revives the series very nicely (not saying the most pervious book was bad, far from it, but the series has been dormant for nearly a year now). I enjoyed the combat side of the story much more than the stuff that happened on the mainland, as some of the trail and the interview moved a bit too slow for my taste. But, everything was written very well. Nice use of descriptions and dialogue, and the action flowed well. Good work. Now, the next story is to be written and posted by me. . . . And it will be both interesting and a little unnerving to see if my story can follow this one, and match up to the stature of the stories from the rest of the series. . . But, anyway, nice work, and I enjoyed it a lot.
Rating: B+
-- JPJunkee
At 3:23:06 PM on 8/31/2003, Evilgrinch said:
Wow...this is an absolute epic.
Its staggering how much Icebreaker has improved as a writer since this series began. Though fantastic it was at the time, the improvement in his writing since the original is excellent and without doubt beneficial for this series.
Managing to write something anything like this quality for the next book is going to be tough, but I will have to hope.
Thanks for another wonderful story.
-Evilgrinch
At 12:24:32 AM on 8/31/2003, Vito_The_White said:
Very spectacular. I'm glad that you've started the JP:TE series back up dude. It was a really pleasure reading this book.
There are a few gramical and spelling errors that I've caught in here that I should make away to ya... in case you want to edit it and all, of course that's up to you.
The first thing is that Nedry's first name is spelled with two n's. Dennis, not Denis.
And the second one is that there is an incomplete thought in this paragraph:
"“No sir,” she knew she shouldn’t have said that but it was the truth, “but I believe that InGen in general was responsible for the security breach and should be held responsible for the deaths that occurred because of it. In both instances. Not just with Thomas, but with the incident that occurred last year when Dr. Alan Grant, his associate and several other ‘guests’.”"
Now to the book. i found the opening to be very facinating. I liked that you showed an interview with Malcolm where it shows why people think he's nuts in TLW. That's a very nice little addin about something that is only talked about in the second movie. However I was disapointed to not be able to read the scene where Sarah and Malcolm meet in the hospital at Costa Rica.
I was very surprised to find out that Thomas Gordon was still alive. That's a really cool thing. I hope that Helena and he are brought back together at some point. They were the perfect couple after all.
I liked the addition of the Delta Forces and the Navy Seals. That added for some very interesting characters. I expecially liked the battle with the Spinosaurus. That made for a nice action sequence.
Even though chapter six was very good for how short it was... perhaps you should've made it a little longer... Perhaps letting the attorneys give some final statements or something. That would've been interesting to read about. Otherwise I like the fact that Ludlow and Dodgson seem to be working together in a way in this whole conspiracy now. It helps to connect the villians of the movies.
I definately liked the ending. Having Dr. Wu leave Hammond like that and try to tell him that his dream was over was a very good symbol of what future disasters may arrise.
I can't wait for Book VII. Nice job.
At 9:44:29 AM on 8/30/2003, TyrannoRex112 said:
Another great edition to this series. It seemed a tad rushed with a few grammatical, but nothing serious. A fine piece of work.
FINAL RATING: A-
At 1:50:30 AM on 8/30/2003, AlanGrant5 said:
Very good work Ice. This is quite a departure from the last books in the series. You've shined light onto the legal battles InGen faced after the events of "Jurassic Park" and, much like "Origin", the fic was both informative and entertaining. There's good interaction with characters and for the most part, each character is adapted well from their big screen persona. "Deceit" is a fine edition to the JP:TE series.
GRADE: B+
At 12:04:38 AM on 8/30/2003, Chavez said:
Excellent addition to the [Jp-TE]series. As always, well written, Ice. It was a long tedious path in getting this posted, but it finally is.
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