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Well I have no problem with the dialogue as such.
It is way too short for a chapter. Nothing to get our teeth into at all. No mystery no suspense just a few angry hissy fits.
OK.
Advice:
Longer chapter with much more in the way of build and location setting.
Realism: The world is VERY aware of the dinosaurs on Nublar and Sorna (not Isla Muertes (the whole group of islands was La Cinco Muertes but no one island was called that). So if you are writing a follow up to the JP series then make sure you include the facts that surround the story.
At 9:41:11 PM on 10/27/2004, Crisco said:
sounds cool, i would post chapters in bigger increments though, please keep it up!
At 8:19:25 PM on 10/27/2004, Master Yoda said:
Um..............................................................................................................Ya.
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