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Pretty good. I like the idea of picking up where JP's prologue left off, very clever. Muldoon is very believable and well done, too.
My only problem is that it's a bit rushed, I felt.
Keep it up!
At 12:59:54 AM on 10/29/2003, Gamblers Ruined said:
Much appreciated, darkhunter. Pt 2 is now up. :)
At 5:18:12 AM on 10/27/2003, dark hunter said:
Nicely done.
Your characterisation of Mulddon is well written and believable, he seems like he did in the movie, which is very nicely done. I liked the added line about the locking mechanisms.
The point of view of the raptors, was a nicely added touch as well. And the detail especially in these scenes was extremely well written.
The Alpha Female is one mean bitch. You have given her human characteristics, which makes the read all the more eerie and better for it.
All up: Really nice start to a story. Makes me want to read more, much more. Keep it up.
Rating: 8/10
~Dark Hunter
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