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I like it
At 3:22:47 PM on 4/20/2003, Jurassiclaw said:
Oh, it *is* dead.
>>Dialogue seems stilted and forced in places<<
Elaborate (Examples?). This might be due to the fact that Writer 1 wants something, Writer 2 wants something else, the director wants something else, and that some chunks are stolen wholesale from TLW novel.
And critisism for profanity? *Shakes head* Fan Fics are not what they used to be.
Back then is was whatever, not it's G-PG-PG13. Whatever the hell hapened to R?
At 3:43:30 AM on 4/20/2003, drucifer67 said:
Dialogue seems stilted and forced in places, and also some passages of dialogue run a little long. Exposition is like pie: give 'em a little piece, and they want more. Throw the whole thing in their face and they're finished.
Also, this might be a matter of personal preference, but the profanity seems to be a bit excessive. Gives the whole thing sort of a ...teenage flavor.
I like the concept, and I like where the characters seem to be coming from. Perhaps this shouldn't be considered "dead".
At 9:46:41 PM on 4/19/2003, Jurassiclaw said:
Oh, yeah. You might wanna change the font...
At 9:37:59 PM on 4/19/2003, Jurassiclaw said:
Modified ending alert.
I'm telling ya, a chunk of dialogue lasts more than 5 lines and you lose 'em.
Gnawww.
At 8:34:48 PM on 4/19/2003, yvonne said:
I'm not sure if I would have read it all, but the font is too small to even attempt reading it.
At 2:20:06 AM on 4/19/2003, Chaos Edge X said:
I seriously doubt you read that all. Get to it, chump.
-Rob, Wannabe Director
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