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Good chapter, it had all the darkness of Batman story's and also had a little more.
The death of Kyle was nice, and it seemed to be written well.
A few grammatical errors, but these days what's a fic without a few errors?
Rating: 8/10
~Dark Hunter
At 2:45:01 PM on 7/8/2003, JPJunkee said:
That was probably the best of all the chapters, thus far. The dialogue worked. And the death of Kyle was also pretty well done. And now Deludion is teamed up with the Cronnies? . . Hmm, could be interesting.
Oh, one last thing, Deludion's notes to Bruce seem a little. . . . queer. . . . scary bad guy.
-- JPJunkee
At 1:31:28 PM on 7/5/2003, Carnotaur3 said:
Yeah, I already get that. But Bruce Wayne is scared to go back to saving lives because of the ones he loves. There's a sorta destiny debate in him right now that wasn't in the previous ones.
At 11:32:25 PM on 7/4/2003, TBatman said:
No, I don't mean Gotham itself -- when Bruce talks to Alfred -- he's not Bruce, he's Batman. He's only Bruce around other people, basically, he acts -- and it's funny too see it strain him, portraying another person all together. Don't forget, Bruce Wayne died that night when he was eight years old -- when that ananymous murder in Park Row, "Crime Alley" -- he swore on the grave of his parents, blah blah blah, he'd become a bat. Batman is not a hero -- Superman is a hero. Batman is a vigilante. Batman is not someone who is supposed to be mimiced, or idolized, he's a deep, dark, and tortured soul trying to fight a one man war against an imperishable enemy -- keep that in mind...
At 1:08:16 AM on 7/2/2003, Carnotaur3 said:
Gotham City is not dark in this part of the script.
At 11:59:47 PM on 7/1/2003, TBatman said:
The writting is just... Not Batman -- the genre is very difficult to portray -- it's really gotta be done right to have that deep, dark, subterranean "effect." You know what I mean... But, it's decent. Good job.
At 10:43:02 AM on 7/1/2003, Amber said:
ooohhh.. leaves you on the dege of your seat...
At 9:32:21 AM on 7/1/2003, Crisco said:
sounds good
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