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A couple of errors:
Mayar (when first introduced)
is (instead of its - near mayor scene).
Other than that it was good. A refreshingly different fan fic. I also didn't mind the script format as i do most other script formats. This one had something else going for it.
The flashbacks were also really good as they helped to add to the story.
The only thing i didn't like was Tod's eagerness to swallow the contents of the glass container, it seemed to easily done.
Rating: 7.5/10
~Dark Hunter
At 9:28:47 PM on 6/23/2003, Amber said:
cool.. I liked Gordon and alfred as well. Well written. I will read more...
At 8:05:30 PM on 6/1/2003, Carnotaur3 said:
Gotham will turn back to regular 'Gotham' in time ;)
At 7:23:02 PM on 6/1/2003, Crisco said:
sounds good so far, i've abandoned my batman fanfic for a JP5, sounds good altough i like the idea of a dark and dreary gotham rather than a cleaned up new one, sounds more like metropolis
At 2:41:40 PM on 6/1/2003, Evilgrinch said:
I dont read enough fanfics, but its cool to read something Batman related when I do.
He is cruelly negelcted by most fanfic writers.
Good Work!!
-EG
At 2:04:58 PM on 6/1/2003, Mark said:
i quite enjoyed it actually, probably one of the first parts of fan fic i read for a long time, just getting bacfk into reading them again, can i make a suggestion keep the batman parts dark, i always find that batman tales go well when he certainly is the dark knight rather then the future everywhere you turn person taht is portraited in the latest batman films, but i like this and will deffinately read the next part
At 1:51:18 PM on 6/1/2003, Bukowski said:
i enjoyed it for the most part, didn't blow me away but it certianly wasn't terrible, i can easily look past the few grammatical errors, as my stories are full of them, the dialog was decent, slightly slipping at some points, and i wasn't a fan of the here let me help with the bag hey i tripped on shoes part, but again it's looking good.
My Grade: C+
At 8:38:13 AM on 6/1/2003, JPJunkee said:
Very good, for the most part. It was quite entertaining. But, there were a few errors, and the dialogue seemed a little bit forced at times. And I really did not like the conversation between the Mayor and Jennifer. . . it just didn't work well.
Still, it's pretty good so far. I'll check out more of the story, as you post it.
-- JPJunkee
At 6:24:05 PM on 5/30/2003, Carnotaur3 said:
Thanks man, appreciate it! :D
At 6:19:00 PM on 5/30/2003, Jedi A. Malcolm said:
I love Batman. This fan-fic, I hope, will be a slam, like most of your stuff, Carnotaur. This was well thought out and very well written. Good luck with this, man.
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