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Oh and here's something to help you out a bit for that example I gave:
Henry Wu swiped his keycard into the pad located on the door marked Lab 4b.
I'm no Michael Crichton or anything, but as Ian Malcolm would say "But ah, well, there it is."
At 8:24:08 PM on 5/25/2004, TyrannoRex112 said:
Not to bad at all, but you're telling the story in a strange manner, as if someone's telling the story around a campfire.
Ex: "Henry Wu swipes his key card and enters a room maked "Lab 4b"
But besides that, it's pretty average.
3.5/5
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