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Heheh, it's fabulously well-written. Really. It draws attention immediately. I like it.
At 8:13:37 AM on 2/13/2006, Adam said:
A really good start, Jeff!
Good development for some of the characters. Hope there's some more for the others.
I'm liking the set-up for the villians too.
I'll get on to Part 2 ASAP!
At 1:27:06 PM on 2/7/2006, Aragorn said:
Well we don't really have alot of females on this site, and I get a much older, more mature vibe from Yvonne, then as a teenager love interest, and Naninou, well I've got plans for her in Super-Mod 2.
And the identity isn't supposed to really be a secret. Kind of like in the first Batman movie, we see Batman in the opening scene, and even though we don't actualy see Bruce Wayne himself put on the Batman suit until part way through, the viewer knows he's Batman just the same.
At 7:16:42 AM on 2/7/2006, Dac said:
Good work. Good style. Interesting theories, although the identity is a bit obvious, but I guess that was unavoidable
Odd how JP3 Girl is the love interest in both your stories in the moment. Coincidence? Hmm... ;)
Best scene was Carna and Jurassiclaw. JClaw's dialogue was brilliant, exactly as a Cockney-mobster would sound. Keep working on him, I like it
Keep going!
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