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I always have felt you are one of my fav writers here AlanGrant5. You show that in your writing.
At 8:05:48 AM on 6/14/2002, dark hunter said:
An interesting fan fiction, taking on the role of changing around the JP book, don't think it's been done quite in this way, it's well written, though the dialogue is a tad rusty, almost copied from the book, but good nonetheless.
~Dark Hunter
At 5:13:23 AM on 6/14/2002, RaptorHiss said:
Pretty durn good:) I can see your story is begging to turn into a parody(execpt it's not funny, and your not trying to actually copy the JP novel). Your dialough is excellent, and who thought it wouldn't be?:)
Good job, I'm beginning to get hooked
At 12:00:33 AM on 6/14/2002, Carnotaur3 said:
Diologue is decent. Not much of it is in it so I can't really say much about it. Descriptions make my work look like crap as always. Good work. I'm starting to wonder what will happen next.
At 11:44:43 PM on 6/13/2002, angel_89 said:
Great job, I really liked this chapter. can't wait till the next one!
At 5:15:48 PM on 6/13/2002, yvonne said:
Very good descriptions. I could picture the old bridge as they were walking across it. I am enjoying the dialogue, as well.
Adding the birds flying around during the Brach scene was an excellent addition, too. And now we're going to see the Trikes. Yay!
Excellent! Looking forward to chapter VI. :)
At 4:24:17 PM on 6/13/2002, CarnaRaptor said:
THe story is really getting somewhere. i like how john sarcastically compares the park with JP the ending of the chapter has indeed filled me with anticipation
~Just Add Water~
Chapter 1 is up
At 1:27:17 PM on 6/13/2002, Vader said:
Diologue is great, as usual. It has a very nice "Jp feel" to it. I look forward to future chapters. :)
<i>-Vader
Admin and Writer of Dan's Page
<a href="http://www.dansjp3page.com/fanfic/Vader-Leviathans__Special_Edition_-_Feature_Presentation.asp"><font color=Orange>LEVIATHANS: SPECIAL EDITION</a></i></font>
At 1:17:29 PM on 6/13/2002, Symbiote Spider said:
I like the way you discribe how every thing works and how every thing takes place. Preetty good. Keep it up.
-Symbiote-
At 12:56:20 PM on 6/13/2002, HOYT said:
Very Nice! I Love it thus far.
I envy your discriptions...
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