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Ninja dinos ?:( what the h*** are thay thinking
At 9:21:35 PM on 9/22/2004, krazykid3001 said:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Dinos… Teenage Mutant Ninja Dinos… Teenage Mutant Ninja Dinos… Heros in a lame ass movie Dino Power.
At 12:50:36 PM on 9/16/2004, bigoledork said:
I originally posted the following gag jp4 script on the message boards here in April of '02, just to get some laughs. But I can't help but note some distinct similarities between my script and the one they're supposedly reviewing here. I'm just saying...
Jurassic Park IV: "We Have Control*", the Animated Musical
Movie opens with a shot of Hammond walking out the front doors of a hospital with Ellie, Grant, Malcom and three-year-old Donald Gennaro. Hammond is explaining the entire backplot, in classic cartoon style, that he did some personal research of InGen's dinosaur DNA, and found that it could cure all of man's diseases. That's why he's coming out of the hospital, because he just had a procedure in which his genes were spliced with dino genes, and now he'll never die. In addition to that, he can jump really high. His new genetic splicing technique gives different dinosaur qualities to all it's recipients. In fact, the reason Genarro is walking with them is that he was the first recipient of the technique, but he was actually "brought back from extinction" by cloning his DNA with the dino DNA, and hatched from an emu egg. He's only three, but he retained all of his prior knowledge of being an attorney. Also, he can spit purple blobs of blinding venom at his enemies (but that will be explained later).
Naturally, Malcolm, Ellie and Grant begin to question the gene-splicing when Hammond mentions that he also rebuilt the park, opening up the first musical set of the movie -- a happy piece about having self-esteem. The song reaches an emotional peak as Hammond sings of his old flea circus.
They fly to the Park, and enter the Visitor's Center, just as before, and in run the grandkids, Tim and Lex. Both now in their teens, they've undergone the gene-splicing procedure. Tim was spliced with a Pterodactyl, and though he has no actual superhuman capabilities to speak of, he is no longer afraid of heights. Lex, aka "Rex" can bite through a tire like it's beef jerky.
They take the tour, and this time, every thing goes right!
The tour ends and they all return to the Visitor's Center to try out the other offerings of Jurassic Park -- the gift shops, the "Jurassic Tennis" courts, etc.
Flash over to a sinister looking headquarters of BioSyn, where a massive and powerful eight-year-old Nedry is running around. Pan back to reveal Dodgeson, who begins to talk sinisterly to Nedry, spilling the entire backplot about how he's so glad he had ventured onto the island himself when Nedry never showed up at the dock with the embryos. He found Nedry's remains and the embryos, and since he wasn't bogged down in the lawsuits and such that Hammond was, he was way ahead of the curve in dino/human gene splicing techniques, and that's how he re-cloned Nedry back into existence. Now his goal was to use his force of dino-spliced humans to take over the world! Nedry still bitter over old financial woes with Hammond, is glad to help out.
Back at the park, Hammond has already realized that this brand-new form of bio-technology could easily be exploited by those who would do evil. So just in case, he has already cloned and raised a flock of Wu's and Arnold's and Muldoon's, and Ed Regis', and even some of the park chef that made the Chilean sea bass. They are a great army for good, and yes, they do move in herds.
So the great battle ensues, and though I won't give away the whole plot, the extras move just like a flock of birds, lightly -- bobbing their heads, with a wheeling, uniform motion, to evade their predators, while the main characters strike the decisive blow to the evil BioSyn warriors.
Upon victory, Ellie, Grant and Malcom wholeheartedly decide to undergo the splicing technique, and form an alliance with Hammond, Gennaro, Tim and Rex to fight those in the world who have also undergone the splicing but who use their dino-powers for evil. They get the gene treatment right there in the Jurassic Park lab, and they all get special matching hero jumpsuits made with the original Jurassic Park logo.
Malcom's gene splicing enhances his intellect with the superior brainablility of the velociraptor, allowing him to run advanced chaos calculations in his head, so he can always predict exactly one minute into the future. Grant's love for digging is enhanced with his new raptor claws, especially useful for digging under the walls of old wooden utilty sheds and such. Ellie's procedure gives her the fearlessness of the compsognathus, and no matter what her enemies throw at her, she just keeps coming back until she finally eats them, causing their blood to instantaneously flow like a river.
In the end, they all address how the real heros were the hispanic amber miners who risked their very lives to find the life-saving DNA in the first place. Then the movie ends on a high note with a song-and-dance karaoke number a la Shrek, with remakes of such timeless classics as Blondie's "Raptor", the Flintstone's themesong, and closing with a touching rendition of Weird Al Yankovic's "Jurassic Park".
Available only on Universal Home Video and DVD
Yeah, I don't really see how JP/// would fit in there, but neither do I see how it would take away from my JP IV plot.
*Alternate title, "The Land Before Time XXVI"
At 10:00:03 AM on 8/27/2004, Jaab said:
I didn't forget that at all. Like I said, It's not a likely thing to happen, perhaps a bad idea even, but the script seems to have it in there. So I'm just trying to think of a way wich would make it a possible thing to happen, not a logical one.
At 3:58:04 AM on 8/27/2004, mrprongs said:
Besides the serious lack of a can on the body when they retreived it, you're forgetting the symbolism behind the can being burried in mud. It foreshadowed the dinos second fall. So, no, they wouldn't be trying to fit the can in. Because it was meant to be gone forever.
At 4:28:05 PM on 8/26/2004, SpinoSlayer said:
I really want a much darker Jurassic Park movie. I want to see raptors stalk a man in a dim hallway. I want to see a dino ambush at night. It should be much more suspenseful. I don't want an R rated gore-fest, but a very dark PG-13 dino thriller. It should use all the left-over material from the books as it can.
At 7:53:42 AM on 8/26/2004, imightbemark said:
I didnt wanna read the whole thread.. forgive me if this was stated, but didn't the shaving cream can only have enough coolant for like 36 hrs... the embryos would be useless now...
At 7:40:10 AM on 8/26/2004, Jaab said:
Maybe when Ingen left Nublar, they came across Nedry's car with a bit of Nedry still inside. Maybe it scared the shit out of them, maybe they had a little laugh. Not important. Hammond found out about this and has known all these years that Nedry died on an unfortunate tour through the island. Later on, maybe 10 or 11 years later, he got some info about what Nedry's intentions were. That's how he learns about the can and he figures, since it was in the dilo pen and parts of his body were still intact, maybe the can is still on him. Now with Hammond being a bit crazy and all desperate to find a solution, he sends some unlucky bastard (hey, he got dozens of people killed allready, so what's one more) to go and search for the can. And about Biosyn needing live embryo's: They either didn't know how Ingen pulled it off or didn't have the tools and men to raise a dinosaur out of just DNA. Hammond might stil have that, probably still being rich and all. My point remains, it is possible to think of a story in wich the can fits. In real life crazy stuff happens all the time. I'm not saying that it's likely to happen, but it's possible. (I wonder if the script-writers don't have any idea how to fit it in either and come to comment boards like these to find out what "experts" have to say. That'd be fun)
At 5:10:31 AM on 8/26/2004, mrprongs said:
But nobody knows Nedry had and lost the can. Logic would dictate he arrived too late, saw the boat leave, then turned around and returned them to cover his tracks. People will not sit there and think, "Hmmm. I bet Nedry got lost, eaten by a dino, and dropped the can, which was then burried. So InGen could have missed it while dismantling JP. So therefore, it must still be on the island somehwere. I'll go search for it 12 years later."
When Nedry was a no show, the Capt radioed Ddgeson, told him Nedry failed, and the whole plan ended. Noobdy knew if he even got the embryos. And that brings us back to the beginning of my post. Even if they thought he had them, they'd expect him to return them, and make plans to try again. Not lose them on the island.
And if BioSyn needed live embryo's to reverse engineer, I don't see anyone else doing so with dead ones. Especially since we don't know what the gradual loss of the cooling agent, and slowly rewarming will do to the embryos.
At 7:16:00 AM on 8/25/2004, Jaab said:
Dodgeson did need live embryo's, but the review didn't mention anything about Hammond needing that aswell. He probably just wants the DNA. He has to, cause the embryo's are dead. And I don't agree with your opinion that no one would know anything about the whole nedry/shaving-can incident besides Dodgeson and his mates. It's been twelve years, a lot has happend since then. For all I know someone has some bad conscience problems now that so many people are being eaten and told his story or even joined some kind of counter-force team thing or whatever. And the main thing, dilo's don't usually eat shaving-can's. Well actually that's not really my point. I'm just saying that's it's not unthinkable that the can would be searched for, found and still be usable.
At 3:52:56 AM on 8/25/2004, mrprongs said:
Dodgeson said they needed live embryo's. But even if 55 other BioSyn employees knew what he was doing, nobody knows they are there, burried in the Dilo pen. Think about it. Nedry doesn't show up on time. No further contact is made. Surely there's another spy in InGen to tell BioSyn JP failed miserably. Besides undoubtedly giving up on the whole dino zoo idea, how will they handle things? Assume Nedry failed, and the embryo's are resecure? Or assume Nedry succeeded, got lsot, and has the can on him, lost it someplace to go find it? Not choice B, I assure you. And even if people knew about the embryo plan, 1 of them would have to subscribe to theory B, to send Nick after them. Over a decade later. Nobody outside of BioSyn could know. And that's provided InGen didn't realize 15 embryo's were missing, and somehow find them where Nedry died. Also doubtful. Probably think it's in a dilo tummy by now.
So not only are the embryo's useless, there's no need to search for them, because nobody knows they exist. Nedry failed to either get them, or deliver tehm. If delivery, he obviously returned them, and fled with hs money. They probably feared he's spill the beans to Hammond. And rejoiced when it became apparent he had not.
And no, a Dilo tummy won't incubate the embryo's.
At 2:39:55 PM on 8/24/2004, Jaab said:
I have to say, it's far out there, but just like you I've just read the review. I agree with anyone who says that it doesn't seem to be very good and not at all in line with the first three films. But I think we should consider this: If Spielberg has got this story in mind, it might just be something, regardless to what we read in the review. Afterall it ís Spielberg and he's responsible for JP1 in the first place.
At 12:44:49 PM on 8/24/2004, juniorxxx said:
to jaab
ok Jaab, but what about the 5 trained dinos , is it a god idea??
At 8:37:06 AM on 8/24/2004, TyrannoMatt said:
Guys, the franchise is fcuked! We should have seen it from JP3. It would be better if we did ourselves.
At 8:33:33 AM on 8/24/2004, Jaab said:
Everyone, stop with saying how bad the shaving-can idea is! Ofcourse the embryo's are dead, we get that already. Still, there's usuable DNA in there. They needed amber in the first film, that's millions of years old. So maybe, a 12 year old shaving-can might work as well. Don't get me wrong though, I am very anxious about this script too. Hopefully it's just somekind of decoy, right?
At 6:41:30 AM on 8/24/2004, juniorxxx said:
all right but i still want to see anaconda meets jp (laughs
At 10:53:27 PM on 8/23/2004, Ed Regis said:
Oh and YES-I read the full story on the webpage
At 10:33:50 PM on 8/23/2004, Ed Regis said:
High ya all-I'm one of Dan's original readers-been coming to this site since shortly after it went up, but have been doin army things for the last year and a half-deployed to Iraq, etc. DDDUDE...THIS IS BOGUS. Fake script, fake news, WHATEVER it is-it's not going to get made like it was stated. And Dan didn't say this was "THE" script, but only A script. Just becuase someone wrote it and/or edited it, doesn't mean it was APPROVED or taken seriously by anyone in the biz. The shaving cream can will never fly as it's just asinine that anyone would consider it-the embryoes are dead, and the GENERAL audience probably won't even remember the stupid thing (holywood doesn't shell out millions of dollars to make films that ONLY the fans want to see). Besides that-no-one, save Dodgeson, even knew about the stupid thing. And Hollywood is NOT going to bring back such a small character as Dodgeson. Sorry Gang! He had a large part in the books, but virtually NO part in the films. The name BIOSYN was never even used in the films. So don't buy it- whether Dan's source is credible or not. This script will never be made. At least not with that aspect in it. I doubt the trained dinos will happen either, as Hollywood is smart enough to know that would just be too much on audiences anyway. So STOP sweating it. Take it from me-these are the exact same sorts of rumors that were floating around when JP3 was being planned.
At 9:38:45 PM on 8/22/2004, juniorxxx said:
oh! i forgot buffy! sorry.. jpark08
and let's not forget one of the most antecipated movies of 2008..
following the marvelous idea of jp4...
Jurassic Park 5: T-REX meets Anaconda feat. Alien and Predator Vs. the always fun party of SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE.
An adventure you'll never forget!!
written by michael jackson and madonna
At 8:27:00 PM on 8/22/2004, jpark_08 said:
juniorxxx that was hilarious!!!
It would be even better if "NICK HARRIS(aka Angel)" joined up with Buffy(vapire slayer) to take down a spino with little pointy stick.
At 6:30:18 PM on 8/22/2004, juniorxxx said:
JURASSIC PARK 4: RESIDENT EVL 3
------------------------------
trailer:
1993: dinossaurs back to life
1997: dinossaurs menace san diego
2001: let's forget, ok??
2002: people become zombies
2004: zombies try to take over the world
2005: THE 2 LEGENDS COME FACE 2 FACE IN A BATTLE ONLY TIME WILL DECIDE !!!
See the new guy on the block NICK HARRIS (aka Angel) destroy the masterpiece Jurassic Park in 103 minutes of pure blood stravaganza! as dr alan grant and ian malcom try to stop the zombies from eating the velociraptors that now talk and have feelings!
WHAT THEY DONT KNOW IS THAT "THEY ARE IN A MIDDLE OF A WAR" BETWEEN HIGHLY TRAINED "MACHINE GUN CARRYNG" DINOS AND ZOMBIES"
WHOEVER WINS....
"WE" LOSE...
JURASSIC PARK 4: RESIDENT EVIL3
"2 franchises explosion in only 1 movie"
the story continues june90,2005
At 6:04:09 PM on 8/22/2004, juniorxxx said:
I LAUGHED UNTIL I CRIED!
HILARIOUS! KILLERAPTOR!
-BEST PART------------------------
which were prehistoric fish back in the dinosaur times. We gave them razor, sharp teeth to make them look scary, and made them look more like piranhas, thanks to screenwriter John Sayles. JP4 is an explosive 88 minutes, full of nonstop, shoot ‘em up action. It’s the “most summer fun” you will find in the movies, and Ebert and Roeper gave it a “Thumbs up”! Also, JP4 leaves an opening for JP5, which I will not want to spoil any information. But I’ll give you a hint: Jurassic Park meets Halo. Enjoy!
--------------------------
At 7:46:10 AM on 8/22/2004, KillerRaptor said:
Paul Anderson: Hello to all the fans of the Jurassic Park, and hello to all the fans of Resident Evil. Thanks for waiting long for my movie, which I merge both franchises together, called “Jurassic Park 4: Resident Evil 3”, for the fans. It is about Nick Harris, a Marine who trains 5 military dinosaurs to save mankind from terrorist dinosaurs, zombies and other evildoers that are planning to take over the world. The five military dinosaurs are supposed to be Deinonychus, but we had to make them look more like T.rexes, so the audience wouldn’t confuse them with raptors. The kids will definitely love these dinosaurs. They know how to use guns and heavy explosives! Also, we have added the new predators in JP4, called the coelacanths, which were prehistoric fish back in the dinosaur times. We gave them razor, sharp teeth to make them look scary, and made them look more like piranhas, thanks to screenwriter John Sayles. JP4 is an explosive 88 minutes, full of nonstop, shoot ‘em up action. It’s the “most summer fun” you will find in the movies, and Ebert and Roeper gave it a “Thumbs up”! Also, JP4 leaves an opening for JP5, which I will not want to spoil any information. But I’ll give you a hint: Jurassic Park meets Halo. Enjoy!
That was from my pure hatred towards the JP4 script and the useless hacks, who want to fuck up the JP series for the money. Thanks DarthRex for giving me this funny idea.
At 2:18:04 AM on 8/22/2004, mrprongs said:
So much for Jurassic Park 5.
I think Showgirls will have been more well received than this... mistake.
At 6:33:10 PM on 8/21/2004, juniorxxx said:
and jp3 spinoslayer
At 5:13:17 PM on 8/21/2004, SpinoSlayer said:
"It's pure weapons-grade BOLOGNA-um!" Qbert
This really sounds like some lame-ass shit. I mean the JP3 arcade game has a better plot than this! If this is made into the real JP4, then heads will roll. If they make JP4 they should use as much left over material from Crichton's books as they can. I know ALOT of you whine that the Lost World book was better than the movie,(I disagree) but really that book's plot would make a decent movie with a few changes. I really liked the plot where Dodgeson was stealing dinosaur eggs so BioSyn could make their own dinos, I mean that could work! And having him fed to the baby rexes at the end was great! The plot should be about dinos with DX disease, their study, and the effort to make sure that they don't spread the disease to humans. There is so much good material left in the books, (none of which was touched in JP3) that a screenplay writer with a brain and a die-hard JP fan could make a pretty good story and end the franchice.
Let's pray to God that this crazy crap doesn't come to exist and ruin Jurassic Park and The Lost World.
At 5:09:57 PM on 8/21/2004, juniorxxx said:
TO DARTHREX
----------------------------
JURASSIC PARK 4: RESIDENT EVIL 3... It'd be great!
The incident in "THE HIVE" has spread worldwide. Everyone's dead, or shall we say "UNdead", except for an aged excentric man in white, a washed up veteran, some not-so-important characters you won't care about and maybe will even hate so it's easy for us to kill them off whenever we need a death scene, and a hot chick that can do flips off a motorcycle...who also holds a secret of her own. Times are desperate and now one man will rise up. The human race's only hope... NICK HARRIS AND HIS COMMANDO DINO PEOPLE HOUSEFLY THINGYS. Watch as death and zombies surround them again and again...and again. It's a big summer "popcorn ride", A sure suck-cess... From the mutilator of Video Game and Comic franchises alike... Paul Anderson. Indroducing Achilles as the extrordinarily T-Rex-like Dynonichus. Rated R for off the wall sci-fi information, comic violence and a really, really, really stupid script.
Now I think that's a movie we can all identify with.
Oh well, I guess there's always... DINOS IN SPAAAAACE!!!!! as well... so... that's encouraging...
But seriously...
"That is one big pile of shit."
---------------------------
I READ YOUR DESCRIPTION ABOUT JP4:RE3 AND I CAN SAY THAT I ALMOST DIE LAUGHING!!!
Congratulations (its been a long time since i laughed that much) DARTHREX! especially for the following parts:
"some not-so-important c
characters you won't care about and maybe will even hate so it's easy for us to kill them off whenever we need a death scene"
"Watch as death and zombies surround them again and again...and again. It's a big summer "popcorn ride", A sure suck-cess... "
"and a hot chick that can do flips off a motorcycle..."
At 5:02:21 PM on 8/21/2004, juniorxxx said:
Let's face it! that script is ridiculous!!!
FOR GODS SAKE THEY ARE TRYING TO TURN THE BEST FRANCHISE OF ALL TIME IN THE NEXT AUSTIN POWERS MOVIE!
At 3:27:58 PM on 8/21/2004, jp3kev said:
Jurassic Park 1-awsome
Jurassic Park 2-pretty good
Jurassic Park 3- bad/lame plot
Jurassic Park 4 script-horrible, what is more lame than trained dinos
If this movie comes out, it will completely give Jurassic Park a bad name, they should just leave it alone!!!
At 1:46:13 PM on 8/20/2004, jpark_08 said:
", which is sort of like a miniature T-rex"
A deinonychus is almost the same as a raptor but a little larger, no were near the size of even a minature t-rex.
At 12:03:23 PM on 8/20/2004, DarthRex said:
"That is one big pile of shit."
Lol... that never gets old for me. But yeah... that's a... pretty exotic script they've got there. Almost mindbendingly bad. A "severe insult" to the frontal lobe.
I had hoped that they'd use the DX virus for something in JP4... I like the idea of the dinosaurs being a threat to the humans "civilization", but this is just nuts... OOOH! Wait! I've got it...
JURASSIC PARK 4: RESIDENT EVIL 3... It'd be great!
The incident in "THE HIVE" has spread worldwide. Everyone's dead, or shall we say "UNdead", except for an aged excentric man in white, a washed up veteran, some not-so-important characters you won't care about and maybe will even hate so it's easy for us to kill them off whenever we need a death scene, and a hot chick that can do flips off a motorcycle...who also holds a secret of her own. Times are desperate and now one man will rise up. The human race's only hope... NICK HARRIS AND HIS COMMANDO DINO PEOPLE HOUSEFLY THINGYS. Watch as death and zombies surround them again and again...and again. It's a big summer "popcorn ride", A sure suck-cess... From the mutilator of Video Game and Comic franchises alike... Paul Anderson. Indroducing Achilles as the extrordinarily T-Rex-like Dynonichus. Rated R for off the wall sci-fi information, comic violence and a really, really, really stupid script.
Now I think that's a movie we can all identify with.
Oh well, I guess there's always... DINOS IN SPAAAAACE!!!!! as well... so... that's encouraging...
But seriously...
"That is one big pile of shit."
At 5:02:29 AM on 8/20/2004, mrprongs said:
I just had this bizzare dream about JP4. They had the lamest script ever, based on crap, and everybody basically said it made JP look like corpalite.
(looks at latest news)
Oh my god, it wasn't a dream. This is allegedly the actual script and idea.
Well, maybe Universal is testing the script out? So they can chsnge it? Into something actually worth watching? Or is Ashton Kutcher Punk'ding us?
This movie would be too cruel, even for Mystery Science Theater 3000.
At 12:38:40 AM on 8/20/2004, conor said:
People, stop quoting Jurassic Park in your insults, PLEASE!
At 12:07:35 AM on 8/20/2004, raptor2000 said:
Count me in.
As long as it'll get a good JP movie made....either to revive the series or to end it with a bang, I dont care, as long as its good, and not made with this horse shit script or plot we are reading about here.
At 8:41:40 PM on 8/19/2004, Raptor Dude said:
*grabs shotgun* So.... whos with me?
At 5:43:26 PM on 8/19/2004, raptor2000 said:
Keep in mind tho that despite the crappy sequals of movies that eventually got made into vs movies (including the vs movies themselves), the originals have always kept their greatness.
Godzilla, King Kong; Friday the Thirteenth(Jason), Nightmare on Elm Street(Freddy); Alien/Aliens, Predator; etc. Its not like a crappy sequel will ruin the good parts of the series that came out before. Just look at Jaws. The bad sequels were quickly forgotten, while the original is still remembered as one of the greates movies to this day.
At 5:35:42 PM on 8/19/2004, raptor2000 said:
Well, since you all keep saying AVP killed both the Alien and Predator franchises (i didnt think it was all that bad, personally...altho Freddy vs. Jason did. but those already sucked anyway) then why not just kill off 2 more dieing series in the same fashion...another vs movie. Jurassic Park vs. Star Wars.
Jurassic Park vs. Land Before Time
Jurassic Park vs. James Bond.
Jurassic Park vs. Dinotopia
Its one way to go. Personally I think those would be better than this B.S. script....that I wont bother to say once again that Id bet every penny I have that its fake. Oh wait, i just did.
And I think we might be on to something with that Jurassic Park vs. Land Before Time. lol
However...theres always the possibility this script IS from Universal but NOT the real script. Think about it...if you release a false crap script while keeping the awesome real one under wraps and making the movie with that one, then when the movie is released, the movie will completely go beyond anyones expectations.
I highly doubt that is the case though.
At 1:22:31 PM on 8/19/2004, ellersaur said:
I keep hearing about how the formula of the franchise, man vs. nature and man trying to survive against these animals, is tired. Well, you know what? THAT WAS THESE MOVIES ARE! It's like saying, "I'm sick of these 'Star Wars' movies being all about battles in space," or "I'm sick of these 'Terminator' movies being all about cyborgs."
Lame, just lame.
At 11:50:47 AM on 8/19/2004, CommieX said:
I've been so psyched about JP4, now after reading this, I think just want to kill somebody! That has to be the worst idea I've ever heard! I hope this is some big joke.
At 5:30:27 AM on 8/19/2004, KillerRaptor said:
To quote from Ian Malcolm:
"That is one big pile of shit".
My expectations for JP4, after reading the supposed script, have dropped drastically.
At 4:51:10 AM on 8/19/2004, mrprongs said:
You know, the whole Judas Strain idea is pretty good. Dinos For Hire plot, no. Imagine if they used unbreedable dinos to try and wipe them out. But once again, life finds a way, and they evolve something totally new. I don't know what, but they ain't dino men, nor do they cross breed. At least that's new. having this major catch to the reproduction.
At 4:38:21 AM on 8/19/2004, PorterM7Z said:
Y'know, I remember thinking about a month back that I'd give Universal one free pass in my book to screw up something with potential since they're producing Serenity.... I take it back, no free pass.
In other news, I met Napoleon Dynamite tonight! He was at a screening for his fan club and I got to talk to him for a couple minutes right before he left. It was kinda awkward cos my theatre hasn't actually carried the movie so I haven't gotten to see it yet, but he still seemed like a cool guy.
And then I got home and slipped on a toy and tore open my foot. Yippee.
"Join the Die Hard Ric Olie Fan Club!
It's a CLUB!
For FANS of RIC OLIE!
Who are DIE HARD!"
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/save_a_lemming/
At 2:39:49 AM on 8/19/2004, JmanG12 said:
If this script is real, I think JpIv will suck and Jurassic Park will become exticnt. i really think they should go to ISla Nublar and explore the rest of it and find Aquatic reptiles such as the Plesiosaurus. If this script is true, I will break all my JP DVDs and forget about the movie I most loved in 12 years
At 9:18:50 PM on 8/18/2004, Danfield78 said:
since it's utterly impossible to make a sequel better than the first Jurassic Park, i say go nuts with it! I like the idea of being kept on my toes. I like how the AICN guy thiks the script is so insane it's beautiful. The only thing is, it's a dinosaur movie so keep the dinosaurs realistic. No stegoceratops or anything. Also throwing in a ton of new species, and have them fight each other. And for the love o' Gawd USE MORE HERBIVORES!
At 9:18:49 PM on 8/18/2004, Danfield78 said:
since it's utterly impossible to make a sequel better than the first Jurassic Park, i say go nuts with it! I like the idea of being kept on my toes. I like how the AICN guy thiks the script is so insane it's beautiful. The only thing is, it's a dinosaur movie so keep the dinosaurs realistic. No stegoceratops or anything. Also throwing in a ton of new species, and have them fight each other. And for the love o' Gawd USE MORE HERBIVORES!
At 5:30:44 PM on 8/18/2004, Neelis said:
Best options would be:
1: Take the series to another level - go before "Jurassic Park" and show us how it all started. (It would be hard to do that, to create a thrilling script/movie, but if done well, it could work.)
2: Just continue the story line, and end the series with this fourth movie. Take us back to Nublar AND Sorna, destroy both and finish it.
That's all I can come up with after reading the bloody nonsense they are spreading now. I honestly start to dislike the idea of a fourth JP movie.
Like Theoden says in "The Lord of the Rings":
"How did it come to this?"
At 3:56:57 PM on 8/18/2004, JP4me said:
As Malcolm once said, "This is the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas" With that being said... I think the script is fixable. Up until the point they start training killer dinos it actually sounds pretty good. I just wish they could bring back some of the old characters, maybe even Dodgson, to give the story a little more JP feel. But anyways, I moved here to California in hopes to work on Jurassic Park 4, so if anyone knows someone working on the film just let me know, I will do anything to be part of the crew. I would work for free and even stop posting on Dans page if thats what it took.
At 1:27:42 PM on 8/18/2004, ellersaur said:
And hey, Stevie Buddy, if you want a really good JP4 script, just click on my name, drop me an email, and I'll help you out. I'll need help writing the screenplay, but the idea is a solid one. I mean, if this is the real deal, your creative team obviously needs help (both mentally and, ummm, scriptally). My idea serves two purposes: A) it gets the franchise off of the island, and B) it sets up to allow a bunch of former characters to come back.
I look forward to hearing from you, Mr. Spielberg.
At 1:21:41 PM on 8/18/2004, ellersaur said:
You know, looking at this survey, I really agree with the last option. I mean, with this script, this isn't a 'Jurassic Park' movie at all. Don't even bother making it if this is all you've got.
That is, if this script is 100% real, which I still believe it isn't.
At 11:55:20 AM on 8/18/2004, Amber said:
Wow, this is a strange idea, and a bad one in my opinion.
If they want to make this into a movie, they should just make a whole new franchise and maybe title it DINO-RIDRES! duh...
Real JP fans and moviegoers alike will not like this idea, and will think it's way to cartooney.. it doesn't even hold the true themes of JP, which is "life will find a way" and so on... survival of the fittest, yes, but not trained dinosaurs...
"it stinks, and i don;t like it" to quote that guy in Spider-man... even if it was well written, and no grant or malcolm? are the nuckin futs?!
Plese let this be a bad dream, or a lie, or a fake, anyhting! IK mean, they said no moire jungle, but, will the dinos actually carry weapons! I mean, real weapons, on there hands...
what's next Alian vs. Jurassic Park?!
oh, what a horror....
At 8:09:35 AM on 8/18/2004, butterhook said:
i'll buy anything thats believable (therefore i won't buy anything... :S), if its done well and isn't totally off the wall. Jurassic Park worked cos it was scientific and we were made to believe the process of re-creating dinosaurs. If JP4 asks us to use our imaginations more than the reality which is presented to us, it'll fail in the eyes of the general public. If they do it, it needs to be done well!
butterhook
At 6:37:12 AM on 8/18/2004, DarthMaulSithLord said:
Well if this is true, which i doubt, i think both Spielberg and Universal lost their minds.
At 5:39:59 AM on 8/18/2004, mrprongs said:
Mighty nice franchise we had here once. Dionychus are not T-rex. What good is upteen year old DNA, useless after 36 hours? Mexico is part of North America.
This is stupid. Whatever they're smoking, I hope they return it. Maybe the Judas Strain works. Remember the Mimic Series? Dino Men for sure. And wouldn't people assume Nedry failed to get the embryos? So, why search for an empty canister? They have no reason to believe there's anything in there. >THAT BIG COLD ROOM WHERE THEY KEPT THE EMBRYOS IN THE FIRST PLACE?>
Becasue InGen dismantled it and destroyed the embryo's.
Can't people fake a more believable script?
At 4:33:49 AM on 8/18/2004, Kick ass rex said:
my god, if this is really all true than I hope so hard that universal watches this site really good so they'll see that they're gonna make the flop of their carrears.
they better get already a new screenwriter cause this ain't gonna work, universal!
At 3:45:19 AM on 8/18/2004, Bumpasaurus said:
Well, I believe this is real (sadly) but this is just an early draft, Screenwriters do really weird shit in the first drafts to see how far they can go with some ideas.
If this is the direction in wich the final film will go, here will be many changes, The Nick character might stay in, the corporation and even the atempt to try training dinosaurs might be in the film but I'm sure things like dog/human-DNA, the Names and other real other the top stupidities will be cut out.
I damn sure hope so!
At 2:42:16 AM on 8/18/2004, PorterM7Z said:
Before I begin my post, I have a book recommendation for y'all: It's called "How To Keep Dinosaurs" by Robert Mash, my girlfriend bought that (along with Volume 2 of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen) as a belated birthday present. It's funny, oddly adorable, and mildly informative. It's basically a how-to guide for those lucky folks who have dinosaurs as pets or zoo exhibits. It's really great and mildly depressing because now I want a pet Stegocera and they don't exist. So I go to bed crying now..... Well not really but still. Now onto my actual post:
Paul WS Anderson needs to direct this. He's already killed both the Alien and Predator franchises in one fell swoop; why not the JP franchise now?
I think now would be a good time to remind you of the utterly stupendously brilliant idea (that's coming up on its two-year birthday) of JPX:
DINOS IN SPAAAACE!!!!!
It has everything! Dinos! Space! More Dinos! A Fantastical Delectable Array of Cinema-sweeping Musical Numbers the likes of which you have never even imagined!
At 2:19:44 AM on 8/18/2004, Chaotician said:
This 'script' is 100% pure garbage. It reeks of fakeness throughout every line of this guy's review. I <i>guarentee</i> you this isn't real. Trust me.
At 2:08:25 AM on 8/18/2004, Vinsfeld said:
I dont see whats so "Jurassic PARK" about this idea... Also what about the aquatic dinosaurs?
At 1:31:11 AM on 8/18/2004, ellersaur said:
The more I read this script, the more I'm convinced that it is 100% HORSE SHITE!
Here are some reasons:
1)Hammond knows about the shaving cream can.
2)There wouldn't be another character named Nick - franchises don't do that.
3)No kids in the movie, other than the kids that get attacked. They wouldn't go from PG-13, somewhat family friendly to incredibly dark and R rated like that, especially with Spielberg around.
4) When was the last time the fourth movie in a franchise didn't have a major character return (not counting Hammond)? Hell, even AvP had Lance 'Bishop' Henriksen in it!
5)For a movie about dinosaurs, there sure aren't a lot of dinosaurs in it.
6)They're asking a mercenary to train dinosaurs? Wow, that's some kind of resume.
7)Here's the big one: THAT F***IN' BARBASOL CAN IS USELESS NOW!!! The coolant could last only so many hours, and now it's 12 years later, and it's fine?
There are a few plausible things in this script, but overall it is a complete mishmash of crap. I agree with Raptor2000: someone read the rumors, and then put all of those rumors into one giant whacked out script. I think JPExciter may be on to something as well; maybe this is just out there to throw us off - Universal trying to grab some attention, but making it sound so god-awful that the next thing we hear will be a big relief.
If, somehow, this is the real script...then God help us all.
At 1:23:12 AM on 8/18/2004, Bishop2 said:
"Like I said, how does AICN get a script before even Universal does? How can there be a script for a movie that isnt even in preproduction yet?"
No one said that they had it before Universal does. Universal has it.
And as for the rest of your questions, that's how it works. You write a script FIRST, and preproduction and greenlighting comes later, BASED ON that script.
No, this is definitely real. Moriarty has never printed a fake script review yet, so I have no doubts.
At 11:07:20 PM on 8/17/2004, raptor2000 said:
I dont care if the story came from Spielberg himself (and if it had, then Ive lost all respect for my once favorite director), somewhere along the line someone picked up something bogus. All respected reviewers pick up a fake somewhere along the line.
And having Hollywood connections....that adds absolutely no faith in my mind about the guy.
Like I said, how does AICN get a script before even Universal does? How can there be a script for a movie that isnt even in preproduction yet? Hasnt even been greenlit yet?
Be mad at me all you want but until we get some proof directly from Universal, I refuse to beleive any good OR bullshit "real scripts" from any other source.
At 10:17:32 PM on 8/17/2004, Ingen HQ said:
The beginning actually sounded plausable up until we hear about the grendal corporation, why not biosyn? It's definalely fake, for as dark as JP has been they would never stoop to attacking kids at a little league game.
Also doesn't the second half sound like a Bond film. Their Swiss Alps stronghold. I bet at some point a guard will get distracted, he'll escape, they'll be big explosions, he'll seduce a beauty, and he'll release the raptors on the main guy thereby creating "irony".
Still i enjoyed some aspects of the script regardless. Hammond's geuiness record made me laugh and their just enough there to create some little sidestory. That and we haven't had a friggin update in over a month.
At 9:44:07 PM on 8/17/2004, Oviraptor said:
Let's just hope it's not the final script.
At 9:35:53 PM on 8/17/2004, Dan said:
It's not bogus people.. Moriarty has tons of Hollywood connections, and even if the script was a fake, I have a hard time believing that he wouldn't pick up on it, seeing as he's a real screenwriter and all. I almost think we need some sort of 12 step program to convince us all that this really is the script to JP4. ;)
-Dan
At 7:47:46 PM on 8/17/2004, Rick said:
I hope to God this is a hoax... I mean, the shaving can idea in itself is a far stretch. But then they go and tack on "Dino Power Rangers"? Gimme a break. If this is Spielberg's "great idea", I'm sorry to say that one of the greatest directors of all time has lost his mind. 0_o
At 7:32:29 PM on 8/17/2004, Micropachy-rex said:
Training dinosaurs is utter foolishness!! And what's with this guy, he's an ex soldier of fortune and all of a sudden he's a dinosaur trainer? It's madness!! Now people TRYING to train dinosaurs, that's gold.
The opening scene sounds alright, a bunch of bed-wetters getting cut down by pterosaurs, it's plain twisted, and that's why I like it;)
Anyway I don't think this movie is going to be that great (even if this isn't the real).
At 6:56:49 PM on 8/17/2004, DarthMaulSithLord said:
If this isn't bogus i'm the pope.
Really this sounds too much like a fanmade script throwing Jurassic Park and Cadillacs & Dinosaurs cartoon together.
At 6:18:23 PM on 8/17/2004, raptor2000 said:
One more thing, how would AICN get a script before anyone else....even Universal did?
At 6:17:32 PM on 8/17/2004, raptor2000 said:
P.S. Sounds to me like whoever made this up has been reading all the other rumours and all the various things JP fans have been wanting and arguing about, and wrote this bogus thing.
Think about it, alot of us want to see Nublar again. So its in the script. Some of us *cough*jimmy*cough* want to see city. So its in the city. There was the rumour of the trained dinos. So its in the script.
I can not and will not beleive this was written by who they say it was written by.
At 6:14:35 PM on 8/17/2004, raptor2000 said:
This sounds bogus to me. Out of many reasons, only Dodgeson knew about the shaving can, no one would ever go to the island to look for a shaving can, and even if they did, they said specifically in the first JP it only worked for 24 hours, so the specimens would have gone bad somewhere around 12 years ago. Even the original room on Nublar where they kept the embryos wouldve gone down a decade ago.
Pteranodons would not attack humans like that, and you can not train dinosaurs, especially carnivores. Not like they are suggesting, anyway.
But honestly, either he got a hold of a fake script, or he posted a bunch of bullshit, because this doesnt sound like anything universal, let alone Spielberg, would allow to carry the Jurassic Park title. This doesnt even sound good enough to be one of those cheap killer-dino Sci-Fi channel original movies. Like has been said, it makes JP3 seem like an Academy award winner.
Anyway, I have to say, I would bet every penny I own that somewhere along the line, this bullshit story was made up by some asshole who was smart enough to make whoever reviewed this think it was real....or the reviewer made this up himself just to piss us off.
Just goes to show that you cant trust anything until you have adequate proof of it.
The only thing I liked was the concept of returning to Nublar and perhaps a bit of city action....not just T-rex this time. But I do want T-rex to reclaim his throne as king.
At 6:09:15 PM on 8/17/2004, Evilgrinch said:
I actually quite like this idea.
At 6:08:56 PM on 8/17/2004, Kick ass rex said:
pleeeeeeeeease, didn't Dodgon said in JP that those embryos last only 36 hours in that shaving bottle? I'm pretty sure they're waisted after 12 years.
At 6:06:17 PM on 8/17/2004, fordprefect said:
'It makes Jurassic Park 3 look like an Academy Award Winner'
NOTHING will make Jurassic Park 3 look like an academy award winner.
At 5:48:10 PM on 8/17/2004, Neelis said:
This sounds like complete bullshit. It makes Jurassic Park 3 look like an Academy Award Winner. I don't believe that this is real, and even if it is it will never be produced. Trained dinosaurs - this just does not fit into the story line the other movies continued.
At best, this is a diversion, something to keep us distracted from the REAL thing. At least, that's what I hope for.
At 4:52:55 PM on 8/17/2004, Majestic-1 said:
Sean's is worse because anyone who believes that, even within the realm of the JP movies, dinosaurs could possibly take over the world is a fucking idiot. Unless the makers were going for "silly dinosaur B-movie meets George Romero" which Sean wasn't.
At 4:26:39 PM on 8/17/2004, fordprefect said:
'Sean's ideas sucked, but they were better than this'
Sean's idea was that years in the future, Dinosaurs broke free of the islands and became the dominant species on Earth, killing most humans and taking over the world. And then a renegade group face up to the dinosaurs.
I don't know which one is worse.
At 3:30:37 PM on 8/17/2004, Dan said:
All I have to say is: Off-screen, think about how much the Achilles, Hector, Perseus, Orestes, and Spartacus action figures will sell. MILLIONS. On-screen, I'm having a hard time figuring out how 6 dinosaurs with names won't become a hilarious cheese-fest. I'm crossing my fingers though. :)
-Dan
At 3:29:31 PM on 8/17/2004, CeratosPit said:
Hey, I got nothing against the idea of trained dinosaurs, I even advocate the idea to a certain extent, but dog sPliced Nychs? Why no just get Dino from the Flintstones.
"You deserve to be banned for saying that. Seriosuly."
Sean's ideas sucked, but they were better than this. Seriously.
At 3:02:30 PM on 8/17/2004, sithraptor! said:
This is very cool! I really enjoy the idea, and can't wait to see the film!
At 3:02:11 PM on 8/17/2004, sithraptor! said:
This is very cool! I really enjoy the idea, and can't wait to see the film!
At 2:51:08 PM on 8/17/2004, Majestic-1 said:
The only decent parts are kids getting mauled and seeing Nublar again.
At 2:28:31 PM on 8/17/2004, Pteranadon2003 said:
What...what...is going...on.
What is wrong with this world? No trained dinosaurs...come on guys, it's original, but the only reason it's original is because the idea is so totally obsurd that no one in their right mind would speak of such a terrible idea for a movie. Why!!!!!!!!
At 1:31:32 PM on 8/17/2004, ellersaur said:
This will not be JP4. Half of my statement is based on my own hatred of the idea, and the other half is based in realism. This script is whacked out of its gourd! They wouldn't mess with a major money-making franchise like this!
Well, I guess 'Alien: Resurrection' went off the beaten path. Oh, man!!
At 1:29:37 PM on 8/17/2004, JPExciter said:
Has anybody stopped to think that maybe if it is fake, it was meant to be so out there god-aweful that Universal would have to respond with some sort of press release, therefore possibly giving us some real news about JPIV.
At 12:57:49 PM on 8/17/2004, Edgar said:
the only thing i like is the kids getting attacked... i know, i'm evil :P
-e
At 11:54:07 AM on 8/17/2004, InGen said:
It's following suit in the other films, JP was great, TLW was ok, JP3 was bent over and JP4 will be the penetration...
At 11:39:10 AM on 8/17/2004, Bishop2 said:
I suppose we don't know that there are only the five dinosaurs. They may fight against the regular dinosaurs. Dino vs. Dino.
At 11:32:33 AM on 8/17/2004, Aragorn said:
I may be alone here, but I really like it. No returning characters is great. Personaly I was getting sick of them and couldn't really see any good way to get them back again. It's nice to see new characters.
I also like how you can't guess what happens next. He even states how he was pretty sure he knew what was coming, but was always surprised with what really happened. I'm glad its not just some rehash like JP3.
I don't like about the shaving cream idea, due to a huge plot hole, but yeah, that could easily be changed to going to the Freezer room to get some from there.
And the opening scene sounds like it just plain rocks. But then again, that's just me.
And sure, custom modified dinosaurs sound cheesy, but I like the idea. it's new and refreshing. Especily those new Raptors on Nublar.
I do dislike however, once it gets going, that there are only 5 dinosaurs, and they're all the same type, and I do dislike that they have names and are obietiant and get trained. It almost seems like they got the idea from Aliens: Labrynth. But I enjoy everything up to that point though.
So I think I'm alone, but for the most part, I like it and wouldn't mind seeing it.
At 11:32:19 AM on 8/17/2004, Driveshaft 2.0 said:
Oh, Balls!
What a shitty idea.
At 11:30:02 AM on 8/17/2004, Aragorn said:
"PLEASE save this movie, Sean Archer!"
You deserve to be banned for saying that. Seriosuly.
At 11:23:17 AM on 8/17/2004, Oviraptor said:
*PUKES*
At 11:19:22 AM on 8/17/2004, JohnHammond said:
I think I'm going to throw up.
- John Hammond
At 11:11:21 AM on 8/17/2004, CeratosPit said:
Where...do...I...begin...
Sucky thing 1: Nobody's back. Just a Hammond cameo. I can only imagine how bland and uninteresting this Nick Harris guy will be. Hell, just read his name. Predictably a white dude in his early 30s with dark hair and a 5 o'clock shadow and some uninteresting backstory. Hell, Nick Van Owen woulda been a way better choice as we at least know some stuff about him.
Sucky thing 2: Chaos Effect, The Motion Picture! While I like the idea of trained raptors, mutant Nychs is taking that premise farther than anybody cares to go.
Sucky thing 3: Shaving Cream can? C'Mon! Why not just get those embryos from, oh, I dunno, THAT BIG COLD ROOM WHERE THEY KEPT THE EMBRYOS IN THE FIRST PLACE?
Sucky thing 4: Pretty much everything else.
*clasps hands together*
I don't know if you can hear me, or if you even exist, but PLEASE save this movie, Sean Archer!
At 11:02:19 AM on 8/17/2004, Carnotaur3 said:
Why in the world do I kinda like this? As long as they aren't cross breed mutants, I'm friggen game.
I'm sure that they could change just a few small things int he script, such as the cannister, because it's not possible and that's like looking for a needle in a hay stack. But this is so crazy that it might be good.
It just seems like one of those dark crazy movies.
At 10:55:06 AM on 8/17/2004, Bishop2 said:
After JP3, where is there to take the story? JP3 just retreaded ground we've been to before, other than introducing "flying dinosaurs" into the mix at last. It's time to go someplace.
This? This is someplace new. TOTALLY INSANE, but extremely new. If he says that the script is truly that great, I'm willing to give it a shot. It sounds totally FUBAR, and I can't stop laughing. But it's in a good way. Hell, try it and see how it goes. People will show up, that's pretty much a given.
At 10:45:55 AM on 8/17/2004, Teach said:
This is a hoax, and not even a good one.
A castle in the Swiss Alps?
Dog DNA to make the dinosaurs more obedient? Why not just use housefly DNA so that once they got the job done, they'd be dead in 24 hours? Holy God, this is ludicrous.
The Grendel Corporation? How cute...a company named after the monster slain by Beowulf. Does anyone else envision the author of this "review" laughing up his sleeve?
At 9:50:06 AM on 8/17/2004, Aussie Embryo said:
This is looney, and I'm not liking the direction it's taking one bit. Credit for originality, but, euck!
At 9:03:45 AM on 8/17/2004, ParkerP82 said:
mwaahahhahaa
I think it's real and it's fucked up, no hope for JP anymore, eventhough I still think this movie can be much better than JP2 and 3 combined still the story is just looney and it would be more of a comedy than an action movie
At 8:55:14 AM on 8/17/2004, RaptorHiss said:
Luckily it's early on, so hopefully it turns out to be false...hopefully:(
At 8:42:28 AM on 8/17/2004, jurassicspark said:
Wasn't this some FANFIC?
At 8:37:34 AM on 8/17/2004, Mr Goodbytes said:
Come on guys. You havn't read the script. You have only seen a script review. Very little of the full story is known. GIVE IT A CHANCE!!! Jeez.
The only problem I can see is with the shaving can. They should just change that into this Nick guy collecting blood samples.
At 8:31:08 AM on 8/17/2004, Bumpasaurus said:
This is fuckin awfull
I HATE it. I DESPISE it an I seriously hope that anyone who`s involved in this and might help to make this into a film would drop dead on the floor right now!
If this gets made it will ruin the whole series. If you wanna do a stupid, crazy, kiddy movie with dinosaurs, call it 'Spy Kids 4' and fuck that up but DO NOT RAPE THE NAME JURASSIC PARK!
At 8:21:21 AM on 8/17/2004, Mr Goodbytes said:
Holy cow!!! This is BIG! This could be bad, but then it could be awesome!
At 8:14:05 AM on 8/17/2004, Gamblers Ruined said:
I think it is possibly the worst idea since 'Crossroads'. Or even Air Bud: Golden Retriever.
I'm fucken serious.
At 8:07:33 AM on 8/17/2004, fordprefect said:
It's TERRIBLE!!! Let's storm Universal.
At 8:06:36 AM on 8/17/2004, Gamblers Ruined said:
WHAT? Sure he didn't read the script to 'Troy' instead?!
If this is true, I take the Jurassic Park franchise out the back and shoot it with my shotgun.
"They won't mock you where you're going, Jp."
:(
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